help can i ask for this back????

[b8s]

well if you read my post from earlier today, you will know i went to my exs house so we could switch keys and i could get my things back. for the past 3 weeks allmost i have said i want to switch things and he would just say ok, and he would call and he never did. today i told him i was coming and i would call him when i was out front he said ok.

 

he gave me my things and i gave him a small bag with the valentines card he gave me and the stuffed micky mouse he gave me for v.d and when we first got together and he found out i liked mickey mouse he gave me his old m.m piggy bank he has had since he was a kid.

 

when he looked in the bag he said i dont want this its yours. i said i dont want any reminders its yours throw it out if you dont want it.

 

i want it back!!!!

 

they were the only things i had from him now and because im stubborn and stupid and went there mad. i dont have them anymore and i cant go back and ask for them now. can i??

[Hope75]

Well...........

 

It might not be in good etiquette at this point to ask for them back after you gave them to him and told him you didn't want any reminders of him- but if you really want them back, maybe an email apologizing and asking for them back would be the thing to do.

 

Just remember if he does not respond, or if he does and tells you that he tossed them already- you DID ask him to toss them if he didn't want them.

 

Good luck. Sorry you are going through a breakup.

[b8s]

i went there mad with the plan of no talking. he wouldnt talk to me at all for the last 2 weeks and he never set up a time for me to get my stuff. so when i went there it was it.

 

but then he started to talk after we switched things and i wasn't mad at him when i left because he told me what happened finally. he said he hopes when we both got over are feelings we could be friends again and we are co-workers so we will still see each other. i know we will never be friends for real. but after him telling me why and treating me like a person finally. i do want to remember the good times and the special things he did for me.

 

he has no email but i could text and tell him to not throw that stuff out yet and leave it for a little while. then in a couple months if i still want it i can ask then. that way it wont seem like im just did it too have another meet up.

 

yes no????

[Hope75]

No I would not ask him to hold onto the stuff for months while you make up your mind- that IS bad etiquette.

 

If you want it back- text him and ask for it back. If he responds, collect it ASAP and then put it away if you feel you cannot deal with facing it right now. Then in 6 months if you dig it out and it does not make you cry, keep it around. If it does, put it away again.

 

It's not fair to give him back stuff and then ask him to hold it for months while you think about it, giving you an in to go back and see him later about the relationship and the past.

[b8s]

no i just meant i dont want him to think im trying to find away to see him again right now .

i should just forget it and then if we do talk like friends somewhere down the line i can just ask if he still has it and if he does can i have it then ..

[crossflow]

Well they do say if you do things just to cause hurt ultimately you will end up hurting more. If they reminded you of him and you couldn't deal with it you should have just put them away or thrown them away. The only reason you gave them to him was you wanted to cause him pain. If he has thrown them away then I guess it's just too bad. Maybe if you are lucky they meant more to him than they did you and he kept them.

[mystik]

1) Contact him, tell him you want it back.

 

2) If he hasn't thrown it away yet, send a friend to go pick it up

 

You'll get it back, and it won't seem like you just want to see him.