HEre we go again

[aving21]

So we keep doing this see each other thing and we always hook up alot. and then the next day she wont kiss me then ends up and etc...But it just drained me so much. It was like we were still together but she wouldnt admit it. We would be cute over the phone and stuff..But today she wouldnt hold my hand at church and i just flipped out..

I told her she doesnt appreciate me and i deserve a girl who knows she wants me. She kept saying she was sorry and didnt know our future so i said fine. You dont know how much i do for you and how good you have it so im done with this crap. After a long talk about how ill be fine and what shell miss i dropped her off at work while she was crying. I told her i loved her and i new she was making a mistae and the only time id make love to her again was if we were 100% So this is basically the second time ive told her this but i came out much stronger and just plain out said i was done waiting on a girl who wants to have the best of both world. Will she miss me and want me back? prob i oculd see it in her eyes. But she cant do this to me any more i find myself looking into every word she says and every tone and its just tearing me apart. So now im just going on and if she realizes what shes missing i hope its before i dont give a crap any more.

But how do i stay strong. I wanna call her and text her and she said she was gonna call tonight after i said all this. Do i just shut her out and not answer? i love her so much but it hurts so bad going on like this. I just wanna be with some one who can make me feel special as well. i wish it was her but it seems like she has to figure out that on her own. And i cant wait for her forever. But how can you make love talk cute hold hands call when your scared say i love you. But no be confused? she just wants both worlds and i thought that would work but it just hurts. I asked her to just tell me if she was done for good and she said she couldnt say that she cant give me a straight yes or no . But im just gonna take it as a no. my heart hurts so bad because i know we can still have that physical side. But i need the love as well.

What do i do. And if she keeps calling and if she realizes whats shes lost what do i do then =(

[aving21]

didnt call didnt expect her to. Find myself not even looking at my phone. My basic question is this. I love her but i hate that fact that it would take time away to realize how much i mean to her. If she ever came back it feels like this is too much of a dagger and it would never be the same.

But again why would you cuddle kiss talk cute call when your scared hold hands rest on my shoulder say i love you and make love to me, And not want us.

[aving21]

just need help

[aving21]

I go online last night and she breaks down saying shes going crazy and becoming an f'd up person who doesnt realize how good every one treats her and doesnt know why. i talked to her for a good hour about it and she said she needed to call me again. And she paused me and told me how much she loves me. but i didnt cling i said i know you love me but you have to figure out what you want on your own.i said ill be there for you but only call if you need me because i wont be.

 

Through a crisis like this where one loses sight of everything. What would come out of the end of this. id hope shed see everything ive done for her and remember that and reach out to me. But i also hope she finds that beautiful girl i came to know rather than this bad person she sees in her self. How do i help her and show her im there while still protecting myself? i thought id only talk to her or see her if she wanted to and never suggest anything. And if she just wanted to talk id keep it short and sweet. So i could heal. but in her saying she realized who shes pushing away and then saying she loves me so much is that a hope i can cling on to. or should i continue on and only taqlk to her when she comes to me. im confused about this whole thing and no one has helped me so far =(

[Kasai]

I don't know how to help but your probably doing the right thing. However it turns out, good luck. In a relationship you need to consider how the other person feels but you can't forget about you and your needs.

[aving21]

ok an update i dont call,text her for 2 days and last night she calls i ignore calls i gnore ignore calls 2 more time then calls my cousin telling to tell me to pick my phone up. So im like ok w/e she calls and is like hey . And i say whyd u call and she says oh just wanna see how you are. And im like uh ok im fine but why you calling ME to see you i am told you not to. Shes like i just wanna talk. And talks cute the whole time and talks some what dirty halfway through and after an hour or so i just say look why did you call. She says i just wanted to talk. Well i said ok well call me if you need me ok? shes like your goign to sleep now? i say yah good night she says good night blows a kiss and i hang up.

 

i dont understand this why would she call me 5 times just to see how i was. and then talk all cute liek nothing at all was going on between us. This is whats shes been doing last few weeks talking the part acting the part but when i question our status she crys and says she doesnt want to work it out. i just dont get it.