Learning boundaries

[Celadon]

This is more of a "musing" than anything else ... but in case it helps anyone ...

 

After years of acting like a doormat (basically) I'm reading through the book, "Boundaries" by Cloud and Townsend. It's really good.

 

The one surprising thing is that since I've been learning to set up boundaries with people, I'm getting really angry when someone tries to infringe on my boundaries even a little. Apparently, this is normal, because if you've been a doormat for so long, you've got some anger built up.

 

The one good thing though is that I'm learning NOT to take responsibility for other people when they try to blame me for something. You know how sometimes people say, "You should've told me ... " or "You should have done this or that ... " Now I say, "You should have thought of it yourself. It's not my responsibility to think for you." In other words, I only am willing to take responsibility for what I do if the other person is willing to take responsibility for themselves as well. I just hate the hypocrisy of someone blaming me for a situation they either contributed to or outright caused.

 

That's a lesson in confidence it's taken me a long time to learn!

[teacup]

hey there! i've been meaning to read that book too!! now i definitely will, as soon as i get my hands on it. thanks for the reminder. i've been reading a little about boundaries too.