second_opinion Posted March 4, 2006 Share Posted March 4, 2006 Hey everyone! Im feeling alil down, Im not sure why though. I think its because Im having problems with my relationships. I cant seem to find the right person. Everyone says im pretty and so nice then why dont men approch me? Why havent I had a proper man? At this rate I will never find the right person. I feel dumb for writing this, but I have no one else to talk to. I try to knock sense in my head by saying I dont need anyone and I can look after myself, but that doesnt seem to work lately. What can I do to get this dumb thought out of my mind? Link to comment
MetallicAguy Posted March 4, 2006 Share Posted March 4, 2006 Try fixating your thoughts on other important things in your life. When a thought about needing a bf comes to mind, switch the thought to something else immediately...hope that helps. Link to comment
blender Posted March 4, 2006 Share Posted March 4, 2006 Dear Second Opinion, Honey, I don't know how old you are, but we have all felt the way you are feeling right now. You will meet someone, but perhaps you are being "giving this time" to work on YOU. Increase your interest, get a new hobby, find someone to "help", volunteer, when we do these kinds of things, wonderful people are simply put in our path... this is how you will meet someone of substance. First work on you, and try, I know it's tough, to stop thinking "if I just met someone I'd be happy" NO ONE can MAKE you happy, we can only SHARE our own happiness, work on you for now, find something you love to do.. and love will then find you. I promise, I've been there... you'll be okay, heck you'll be GREAT. I'm here if you need to talk... Link to comment
second_opinion Posted March 4, 2006 Author Share Posted March 4, 2006 Heyy Blender!! Im in my 20s =) Thank you. I understand what your saying and I think its true. I appriciate it. You made me feel so much better! Link to comment
blender Posted March 4, 2006 Share Posted March 4, 2006 Second Opinion, Your so welcome. You deserve to feel better. And only in your 20's, you sound very mature and self reflective, and this is the beginning of wonderful things for you, because you are willing to ask for help and look at yourself.. that's pretty amazing at your age. I'm 39, and I've been where you are now.. trust me, work on YOU and the best is right around the corner, the sooner you believe this and smile, you won't even have a minute to catch your breath before wonderful things come to you. I can just tell by your words, you are thoughtful, kind and ready to "grow" into an even more amazing person... who ever the lucky one is to meet you after all this "growing time" is going to be someone very... well, handsome, charming, honest, thoughtful and will STAY by your side..because your new found inner-happiness will be addicting to him. Link to comment
miracle29 Posted March 4, 2006 Share Posted March 4, 2006 Dear Second Opinion.... I'm past my 20s and i'm here to tell you that myself and numerous other women have felt the same. So first i want you to find comfort in knowing that you are not the only woman who feels like something just doesnt add..up or that you will be single forever..and that you're not as pretty as they say "they must be just telling me this to be nice..because if i was sooo pretty why am i single?" Sound familiar? I'm now kicking myself because when I was single...I didnt know how lucky or how beautiful I was. I was so busy worrying about a boyfriend or a man..that I didnt even get to capitalize on my youth. Man what an idiot I was....I had freedom..i could go out with whom i wanted to without explaining to anyone where i'm going and having to rush back home because if i don't there is hell to pay. Now understand that many of us go through funks where there is a dead dating period. Meaning sometimes you can look like Madonna and still..no sale. Men can almost sniff your desperation in this funk and they run like a bat out of hell. The good news is..it is just a funk. I bet you keep attracting the wrong men to you right? Men who just don't get you...and don't make you completely happy? Don't worry about this because in time..this period will all become a blur. I would pay for someone to have told me this.."ENJOY being ALONE while YOU can." Because once you get married..and have a child..you'll be kicking yourself that you didnt capitalize on being single, and FREE. Again.. i would have paid for someone to tell me this..but then again..when I was in this funk myself many years back..i was too thick headed to listen..please don't be me..back then! Link to comment
GottaLetItBurn Posted March 4, 2006 Share Posted March 4, 2006 Dear Second Opinion, Honey, I don't know how old you are, but we have all felt the way you are feeling right now. You will meet someone, but perhaps you are being "giving this time" to work on YOU. Increase your interest, get a new hobby, find someone to "help", volunteer, when we do these kinds of things, wonderful people are simply put in our path... this is how you will meet someone of substance. First work on you, and try, I know it's tough, to stop thinking "if I just met someone I'd be happy" NO ONE can MAKE you happy, we can only SHARE our own happiness, work on you for now, find something you love to do.. and love will then find you. I promise, I've been there... you'll be okay, heck you'll be GREAT. I'm here if you need to talk... I wanted to add, that you are completely right on everything you said. The part about finding someone of "substance" is the perfect word to describe it. I have told people too that "no one can make you happy" and they look at me like I'm crazy. It's nice to see someone else out there understands the concept. Very important for you to be content and happy with your self and SHARE it with others. I think people realize that really late in the game. There's no friendship, and genuine happiness shared with each other. Everyone wants to skip the bestfriends part, and get to physical stuff. Why that's natural and fun and all, it's not so fulfilling as really loving to be around someone. I like your post a lot. You have very good insight. Link to comment
SuzieB Posted March 4, 2006 Share Posted March 4, 2006 That was really inspiring what you said. I, too, am feeling like I'm in a funk because I am not getting "snapped" up. It is hard to believe when people say "it will happen when you least expect it." However, on some level, I know that saying is true. It is hard to be patient. My friend who is married and has two kids tells me all the time "I would pay to be you for a day. I cant even go to the bathroom without my kids or husband talking to me!!!" Ok, I feel sad being alone, too. It is nice to be in love and to have a new blooming relationship. I miss that. However, we need to look at the positives!!!! The great things about being single: *you can sleep in on the weekends *your schedule revolves around YOU for the most part. *U can live off of Lean Cuisines *If you cook a big meal for yourself, you can eat on it for a week! *You don't have to pick up after anyone...towels, dirty clothes, dishes *You don't have to stare at someone elses pig sty and resent them for not doing something about it. I am sure that I am missing a few other good reasons, but I know others can add to my list. Take care! Link to comment
miracle29 Posted March 5, 2006 Share Posted March 5, 2006 Right on ...and Amen and a I second that in one snap.................... Link to comment
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