intrigue_ Posted February 24, 2006 Share Posted February 24, 2006 I won't go into the whole story 'cause I haven't slept all night basically... but I met this really great guy over the internet. It started off as a joke, I asked if he would be interested in dating me even though he didn't know who I was... I said I was 'hot.' he's somewhat of a local celebrity. I didn't really expect him to reply seriously but he said he'd be interested in meeting me, we e-mailed a bit and seemed to hit it off. For some reason though I couldn't meet him because it'd be a conflict of interest. But I acted like a real b****, basically like I was too good for him, and ruined any chance I had with him anyway... I just feel sad thinking about how perfect he was in general, he's incredibly good-looking and we both had a very similar personality and got along great essentially... I just acted like really stuck-up and I e-mailed him apologizing somewhat but he didn't e-mail me back... I'm really not sure any of this is making sense now. But people write on his website about how he is such a great guy, and he's very good-looking, etc. etc... I think I just e-mailed asking if he'd go out, out of curiosity to see if he'd say yes. But once I realized it was a conflict of interest, I was like "hmm... I can be facetious and have fun with this..." and wrote on his website something like "sorry ___, actually I don't want to go out with you. You're not my type." but then to be funny I was like "and to know what you're missing, this is how hot and prestigious I am (!)"... and listed some instances of prestigious guys that hit on me... It was totally meant to be teasing/lightly humorous but came off as being arrogant and conceited instead, I guess because I already rejected him... and people were like 'omg, what a b****...' I suppose we shouldn't have met in any case, although I could have if I really wanted... I don't know. Ultimately he is too good for me anyway, so there's no point in feeling sad about it....right? it probably wouldn't have worked out in the end... but why can't I get him out of my mind? ](*,) Link to comment
AntiLove_SuperStar Posted February 24, 2006 Share Posted February 24, 2006 Whooaaa there. 1) ...For some reason though I couldn't meet him because it'd be a conflict of interest.... How so, I didnt quite follow that! 2) If you havn't actually met him (from what I can tell, you were going to, then you *ruined it*) then there is no way you can say he is perfect. You can get an idea of what a person is like via msn or email or whichever, but you really don't fully know them until you meet them and spend time with them properly..so I dont think he qualifies as "Perfect". 3) You said at the end of the post that he is too good for you anyway...Nah. No one is *too good* for anyone..and even if he was, what evidence have you got..like I said, you havn't met him! (again I'm sorry if I misinterpreted). 4) This poor guy is going to be so confused with how facetious etc you were with him, if someone did that to you, wouldn't you be very confused? So..I think you have idolized him a little bit/a lot, got a bit ahead of yourself/mixed up, played mindgames with him and its backfired...I'd say chalk it up to experience, and think about what you say next time..and don't make people into something they may or may not be. Link to comment
Lonelyinasmalltown Posted February 24, 2006 Share Posted February 24, 2006 Honestly, if a woman did the same thing too me I'd think she was either incredibly full of herself, very cruel, or kind of crazy. I don't get the whole conflict of interest thing though. I mean, in love it's only really a conflict of interest if one person is already taken, you know what I'm saying? I'm assuming that you two work for competing companys. My advice to you in the future is to NEVER have "fun" with someone's feelings at their expense. It sounded like he was genuinely interested in getting to know you better. His only crime was to want to get to know you. He definitely didn't deserve what you did to him. You already know that though, you won't ever get to see if there was anything with this "perfect guy" now. Live and learn. Link to comment
Andy223 Posted February 24, 2006 Share Posted February 24, 2006 "sorry ___, actually I don't want to go out with you. You're not my type." but then to be funny I was like "and to know what you're missing, this is how hot and prestigious I am (!)"... and listed some instances of prestigious guys that hit on me... It was totally meant to be teasing/lightly humorous but came off as being arrogant and conceited instead, I guess because I already rejected him... and people were like 'omg, what a b****...' The problem with using the internet, and this is one of its disadvantages, is that it is very discrete. Even though you were trying to come accross as teasing, to every1 else, they will read the words for what they are. In order for some1 to understand teasing, they need to see facial expressions and hear tone of voice. I suppose we shouldn't have met in any case, although I could have if I really wanted... I don't know. Ultimately he is too good for me anyway, so there's no point in feeling sad about it....right? it probably wouldn't have worked out in the end... but why can't I get him out of my mind? :sad: ](*,) okay this is what i dont get, first of all you want to go out with him and u ask him out, then suddenly when he shows a bit of interest u start playing games. (okay it might be a bit of fun) but if some1 did that sort of thing to me i would leave, (as i would see it as being manipulative and immature) teasing people in person is different, doing it over the internet is going to leave yourself open to insults. And you wonder why he suddenly lost interest!? u probablly cant get him out of ur mind cos phsycologically u knew u cld have had something, but u were idiotic about it and screwed it up. nevermind! Link to comment
LEFEM24 Posted February 24, 2006 Share Posted February 24, 2006 This whole thing sounds bizarre. What kind of "celebrity" is this guy? Is this his companies website or his personal email address? No offense intended but from what you've said...it seems like you came off as a "cuckoo".I am sure if this guy is well known, he is probably very leery of wackos. This immature "ploy" probably set off warning bells in his head. You said you can't get him out of your head...and you don't even KNOW him? Scary. Why do you think you would not have a chance with him? Did you even send him a pic of yourself? Please be more specific. Link to comment
intrigue_ Posted February 24, 2006 Author Share Posted February 24, 2006 lol, I knew this sort of thing would come up. I can't really be more specific though... but I just wanted confirmation that I should leave it alone I guess, and not think about it. It appears my reaction, as I suspected, led him to believe I'm crazy as well or I don't know, * * * * *y, etc. etc...Anti-love SuperStar, I think you gave the best response even though u are rightly confused as well. I didn't even see that he wanted to get to know me I guess, until after... I thought it was sorta a joke as well. To the guy that just responded... hmm. The reason why I partly can't get him out of my mind is because I know his friend. I don't think it's 'scary' to be attracted to someone you don't know well though. But yeah he probably thinks I'm crazy. Link to comment
LEFEM24 Posted February 24, 2006 Share Posted February 24, 2006 Intrigue... You didn't say what your follow up email said when you "somewhat apologized". Did you mention that you intended it as a joke, but that you realized that was probably a bad thing? A hearfelt apology explaining your actions may have been a good thing to do. Also...explain that you realize how you must seem to him...ie, crazy, weird....whatever, and ask him to give you a chance to redeem yourself. No more "games" though. It's not fair to play with people like that...especially people you DON'T know. Link to comment
intrigue_ Posted February 24, 2006 Author Share Posted February 24, 2006 Hey, Do you think there's anything I can do to sorta make it up now? I was just thinking of sending an apology or something... because I didn't do that before in my e-mail. Saying something like "I just wanted to apologize about the whole thing. I'm sorry, I didn't even realize how much of a * * * * * I was and how horrible that was... I think I'm going to see Counselling Services or something, that is just honestly not right and you didn't deserve it. The message wasn't directed towards yourself though, it was meant to just be playful since I didn't expect to meet you anyway but what would compel someone to do that in the first place I'm even asking myself... Anyway. Just dismiss it as some psycho girl on the internet which you're probably doing, and that'll be fine, because I can't really justify it either... well I could give justifications but it would still seem a bit odd, so I won't... I just wanted to apologize... I am a * * * * * and just realized it, I guess. Better sooner than later. cheers..." do you think sending something like that is worth it? at least it shows I'm not completely crazy as I realized it...I dunno. Link to comment
intrigue_ Posted February 24, 2006 Author Share Posted February 24, 2006 Intrigue... You didn't say what your follow up email said when you "somewhat apologized". Did you mention that you intended it as a joke, but that you realized that was probably a bad thing? A hearfelt apology explaining your actions may have been a good thing to do. Also...explain that you realize how you must seem to him...ie, crazy, weird....whatever, and ask him to give you a chance to redeem yourself. No more "games" though. It's not fair to play with people like that...especially people you DON'T know. You're right and just read my mind. See above. I don't even know if I'm worth meeting to be honest, after what I did. I just should apologize. In my last e-mail to him I said that my comments on his site were meant to be taking facetiously, not seriously, because then I'll come accross as a * * * * *, etc... I guess in a way I blamed it on the people for not understanding my 'humor'?? No wonder he didn't respond... Link to comment
LEFEM24 Posted February 24, 2006 Share Posted February 24, 2006 I think an apology email is ok..but I would leave the part out where you put yourself down. No need to do that. Simply say the email was meant to be playful..but it got out of hand. Tell him you would like to start over....if he is willing to talk to you again. Then see if he replies. Link to comment
intrigue_ Posted February 24, 2006 Author Share Posted February 24, 2006 I think an apology email is ok..but I would leave the part out where you put yourself down. No need to do that. Simply say the email was meant to be playful..but it got out of hand. Tell him you would like to start over....if he is willing to talk to you again. Then see if he replies. I don't really want to meet him anyway after that though, I just don't want him to hate me I guess. Why shouldn't I put myself down? I was a b*tch and might as well admit it... shows I can at least acknowledge that fact. Link to comment
intrigue_ Posted February 24, 2006 Author Share Posted February 24, 2006 yeah, I think I'll send this. Hi, I just wanted to apologize about the whole thing. I'm sorry, I didn't even realize how much of a * * * * * I was and how horrible that really was to do... that is just honestly not right and you didn't deserve it. The message wasn't directed towards yourself though, it was meant to just be playful since I didn't expect to meet you anyway. But what would compel someone to post what I did in the first place I'm even asking myself... even if someone is sleep deprived they don't just go and lose their moral sensibilities. Well I guess there were a few reasons, I don't just do anything without a reason entirely, but the justification is still somewhat flawed... Anyway. Just dismiss it as some psycho girl on the internet which you're probably doing, and that'll be fine, because I can't entirely justify it either... I suppose it started off just being playful but got out of hand. I just wanted to apologize... I am a * * * * * and just realized it, I guess. Better sooner than later. Thanks for not being totally rude about it though. cheers. Link to comment
intrigue_ Posted February 24, 2006 Author Share Posted February 24, 2006 thoughts? I'd like to send it now that I'm in the mood and feeling sincere about it... Link to comment
intrigue_ Posted February 24, 2006 Author Share Posted February 24, 2006 ok I sent it. Took out the part that I should see a counsellor though and added that "I guess it started off just being playful but got out of hand." I don't know, I'll see what happens... Link to comment
LEFEM24 Posted February 24, 2006 Share Posted February 24, 2006 I like that part better Intrigue...very good Just wait... Link to comment
intrigue_ Posted February 24, 2006 Author Share Posted February 24, 2006 I like that part better Intrigue...very good Just wait... Thanks for the quick reply. I was just being sincere about what i thought... I was being a * * * * *. I know the reasons for it too, but I'm not sure they're justified either... in real life I'm not a that mean though. even though I'm sure it appeared that way... Link to comment
intrigue_ Posted February 24, 2006 Author Share Posted February 24, 2006 well he e-mailed back and said not to worry about it, flirting on the 'net is bound to end in trouble. I don't really see how that's necessarily true though. I sorta don't like his response. But oh well, lol. I think he's probably embarrassed, as am I. Link to comment
intrigue_ Posted February 24, 2006 Author Share Posted February 24, 2006 someone PMed me and said that I was taking this too seriously, I probably shouldn't have apologized. I think he's probably right. I blow things out of proportion too much, what I did wasn't that bad... ugh. Link to comment
intrigue_ Posted February 24, 2006 Author Share Posted February 24, 2006 ugh I shouldn't have even e-mailed him. I'm such a loser. Link to comment
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