what to do?!

[XxGabbyAbbxX]

okay so im in my first "serious" relationship i have been in. ever. the guy is great.. he never does anything to hurt me... i dont think he ever would either. Its been almost 7 months that we have been together now. I actually find myself liking this guy. I guess u could say that i have never really had a serious boyfriend before this. My longest relationships would be a month or so at the most and it was one of those things where u never really hang out.. you know how those are.. anyways. Im with this guy... he goes a dif school that is close by and most ppl from my school and his school are friends. The problem is im starting to have "best friend" kind of feelings for him. The is the kid is a completeee sweetheard tho.. and he always tells me how amazing i am and how much he loves me. I would feel horrible if i ever hurt him.. but its like when im around other guys i feel myself wanting to flirt and "date around" or w/e.. this is soo hard i just dont know what to do anymore, and i dont want to lose him as a friend.. i dont even know if i want to lose him as a bf this is rough

[fishrrshortae]

Have you two talked about being exclusive? if it hasn't come up, I'd say maybe it needs to. It is not fair for you to make him think you're exclusive, if any part of you doesn't want to be. I think if you really truly had strong feelings for him, you would not want to flirt with other guys.

 

One thing I think you should strongly consider is this: what if you did kiss one of those other guys, or something like that ... would you regret it? I guess what I'm getting at is that this may be a "grass is greener" situation. Flirting is all fun and games til it gets serious. You have a really nice guy already. A lot of these other guys may not be so nice. You may regret your decision to remain uncommitted to a nice guy, just to flirt with a jerk.

 

Either way, don't make any decisions without really thinking about what you want.

[XxGabbyAbbxX]

yea, i mean were "exclusive" if u mean by that, that we are like going out ..boyfriend/girlfriend or whatever.. we have been for a while.. its jus i dont wanna hurt him but i dont feel like i have those type of feelings for him liek i used to.. that "spark".. and im starting to see him as my best friend more than anything..

[mystik]

The problem is im starting to have "best friend" kind of feelings for him. The is the kid is a completeee sweetheard tho.. and he always tells me how amazing i am and how much he loves me. I would feel horrible if i ever hurt him.. but its like when im around other guys i feel myself wanting to flirt and "date around" or w/e.. this is soo hard i just dont know what to do anymore, and i dont want to lose him as a friend.. i dont even know if i want to lose him as a bf this is rough

 

hey there... how old are you? I'm going to assume you're still in highschool (don't most highschool relationships last a month ) I think you already know what you want to do, and what you should do, but just want some confirmation from some of us. Here are a few reasons why you should break up with him: a) you see him just as a "best friend". Unfortunately, even though you don't want to see him this way, you clearly already do. It's not fair for him to drag it out longer and have him fall even more in love with you. b) you want to flirt and "date around". If you're still in highschool, or even in college, this is completely understandable! Especially since this is your first serious relationship, it's only natural to want to know what else is out there. You're young, and you want to experience as many things as you can (I've been there ...oh man you remind me of myself, I was 16 at the time, EXACT same dilemma) and you're worried you're missing out. Don't feel guilty, you CANNOT help how you feel. and c) you're afraid of losing him as a boyfriend...but are you afraid of losing a good guy who loves you, and afraid that you won't find someone else who will be just as good to you? OR are you afraid of losing HIM? If you are afraid of giving up the security and comfort, then that's not fair to him either. It's not fair to the both of you. He deserves someone who truly loves him, and you deserve someone who you truly love. On a side note, I broke up with my guy (back then) and although he was devastated, he has had a few girlfriends since then, and we are still friends now..though it took some work and five years! And also, don't worry bout never finding someone else who will love you that much, I've had another serious relationship since then and my share of experiences that I'm glad I got to enjoy!

[XxGabbyAbbxX]

ha wow thanks. that seriously helped.. (and im almost 16.)

but yea its everything you said.. completley. im glad someone out there understands! haha

[mystik]

noo problem! When I was going through it, everyone was like "NOOOO you're perfect together, he loves you sooooo much" but you know, sometimes you just have to do what you have to do. There's no sense in prolonging something that you clearly don't want. And even though for the next year or so, when I was single or got unhappy, I obviously thought of him sometimes and wondered "what if." But it's just something that everyone thinks about. BUT just be gentle if you do decide to break up with him... I just got dumped a little while ago and heck I did not know how badly it could hurt...and I felt a bit bad about how I did it to my first boyfriend years ago. Granted I was younger and was just like "oh he'll get over it." But it hurts so much to be dumped! So try to be as nice as you can and don't get angry or annoyed if he keeps asking you to get back together and stuff... Just be firm and he'll get the hint eventually. Let me know how it goes! (it's always nice when you find people who have gone through the same thing