I'm still in love, but how do I get over her!!!! HELP

[pendulumcuts]

Hey people how r u all doing,

Ok, I know, I know, after I'm finish writing this, my guess is yall gonna prollie laugh out loud and I'm prollie gonna get a few crticism, cuz this sounds stupid. Well as stupid as it sounds, I'm still love my cheating ex g/f, I want her back. She broke up with me suddenly and it had to be on the day before valentine's , it was in an e-mail, saying that it's over and that she's gonna date that guy again (the same one she cheated on me on numerous times). Ok, now I'm sounding very stupid, but I dunno, if she were to come back, I would accept it.

I don't know why do I still love her if she ain't donna respect me, nor be faithful if she were to come back, and off course I don't deserve to be treated like this, yet I want her back.

Help people, any way I can get over her, I'm going crazy.

[HaloDestroyer]

First off, welcome to the eNotAlone forums. I'm just sorry it has to be under such... painful... conditions...

 

There was a thread recently, where one member suggested that one may never get over a break-up, until they find someone else to love. I may not remember the exact ins-and-outs, but the theory is sound.

 

You need to let go. You can't spend your life chasing a girl who'll use you, and hurt you, over and over again. I know that sounds harsh right now, but it's the absolute, honest truth. You must let go as soon as possible.

 

While I think that there is some truth in the theory I mentioned, about not being able to get over one love until you have another, I don't believe it is restricted to emotional love between two human beings...

 

For example. I am a guitarist. I don't just play guitar, though. I love guitar. I love the sound of it, the look of it, and the feel of it. I love making music, and I can get lost for hours in scales and rhythms... You need to find something you can love, equally.

 

A hobby, or a pet, or whatever you want! It'll help to take your mind off the pain, and also meet new people, who are interested in the same things as you!!

 

Hang in there buddy, I know it's tough, but don't let one bad girl ruin your opinion of them all.

 

Hope this helps...

[NR498E]

Thats alright dude.

That feeling will go away soon enough and you will look back at this thread and cringe.You will see that your just heratbroken and temporarily insane.Everything you said is very common just hang in there and youll feel better in no time.I guarantee it.

[maroB]

What would you do if she did come back? would you ever trust her? How can you ever look her in the face and believe anything she ever told you? i personally would never trust anyone that cheated on me. i guess trust is one of the most important things in a relationship/friendship. without trust you have nothing. why would you want nothing???

 

You really have to let her go. you have to want to not want her. you have to move on and find something to love. like the guitarist above stated, find a hobby. keeping your mind of her is a start.

 

someone else in this forum put it really well, it went something like this. the person that breaks up with you has already made the decision to break up a long time ago. even though you are still going good and strong, they have already detached themselves from you.

 

to put it more simply, they decided a long time ago to break up with you, and you had no clue. now you have to deal with their choice.

 

Good luck, and practice the NC rule, (NO CONTACT)

[Mrocza]

I also think your reaction is part of the heartbroken-and-temporarily-insane part of you.

 

But the fact that she cheat on you time and time again, dumped you saying she's going to be with that guy and you still want her back, makes me think.

 

Basically, her email break-up was harsh and immature. She didn't even have the common courtesy to tell you to your face or avoid the harsh blow of mentioning the guy. She has no respect for you. She doesn't care for your feelings.

 

She cheated on you time and time again and you took her back. Again, loss of respect there. You let her feel it was ok to get away with it because she coud always come back no matter what she did. You let her treat you like * * * *, toss you aside and you'd still come crawling back for more.

 

And yet, you still love her and want her back.

 

Lets get right to the point. What do you love about her? The fact that she uses you? Or doesn;t take your feelings seriously? The fact that she has betrayed you time and time again? Or the fact that you resent being alone? It's not HER you love, but you just can't stand being alone (hense, taking her back time and time again)

 

And therein lies the problem. You still want her back.

 

Do you honestly value yourself so little?

Do you really think that you should be treated this way? That you deserve this?

Can you, irrational feelings aside, logically say she is IT for you?

Trust me when I say this, she is not the only woman on the planet. There are more of us out there- better quality ones too.

 

Come on, buddy. You know you deserve better.

 

You're hurting and that's normal but here is where you get to do something for YOURSELF. Here is where you gain some respect, including self respect and move on. It sucks that you've invested your emotions and time into this relationship, but what has she done?

 

You yourself know all this. You know this is a stupid situation, but the emotions are real. It always hurts, but you can either stop now and get over her, or prolong the sufferring and pain by wanting to take her back so she can stomp all over your heart again.