Another rough day

[ElektraHere]

Hi There,

 

I posted something yesterday about the grief process and how I wondered how long it takes. As it gets closer and closer of the anniversary of my grandmothers death Feb 21st I feel just so lost and sad. I dont want to talk to my mom about it because then she starts to cry. (it was her mother) I went to breakfast this AM with a friend and we discussed it. She said grief has a funny way of lieing dormant for awhile then it pops up at any moment. I just can't believe she isnt here anymore. I miss her so much my heart aches. I guess I just need to talk it out and I dont know what to do or who to talk to? I visited her grave yesterday but it just made me miss her more. I want her back in my life. This was our day. Sundays I would go over, do my laundry, and spend the day with her. Make her some dinner and dessert and just visit or help around her house. Will my heart ever be the same again?

[changes]

i'm sorry for your loss...unfortunately, I hate to say, I don't think it'll ever be the same. My dad passed away june of 2003. and I've never been the same. the grief is always there, and can hit me at anytime.

 

talk to your mom. because even though you dont' want her to cry, at the same time, don't think she's not thinking about her. my mom and i often cry together .

 

you might want to think about counseling, even if just a few visits. I found it to be uplifting a bit...good luck

 

and always keep your memories close. when you feel sad, think of a good time you guys shared.

[coollady1957]

I am so sorry for the loss of your grandmother. I can truly feel what you are going through. I have lost two grandmothers, a grandfather, and my husband, which was the most recent, two years ago.

 

Grief does have its way of coming back to us, during holidays, birthdays, anniversaries, and other significant times in life. The grief process is so different for everyone. We come to terms with some of our losses quicker and easier than others. At times it seems as if the hurt will never go away. I guess it really never goes away but coping becomes easier with time. You never get over it, but you learn to deal with it more as time goes on.

 

Talking about it with your family and friends might help. Cry together, reminisce together about the good times and great memories. That can be quite healing. Dont be afraid to talk about your grandmother and recall funny stories and occasions.

 

I know when my husband died, my children were horrified at the thought of not having their father in their lives anymore. My son was 17 and my daughter 22 when their dad died.

 

My son ended up going through two months of counseling , twice a week. It helped him tremendously to understand the feelings he was going through. Counseling might be a choice for you , if you feel you are not dealing with your grandmothers death as you would like. My son has now done some things in memory of his father. He devotes alot of time to hunting and fishing, which were things he and his father enjoyed doing together.

 

My daughter dealt with it much better and quicker. She made a scrap book of memories with her father since childhood and wrote little stories to go along with the photos . My husband loved to work in the yard, plant gardens, etc. My daughter plants a little garden every summer in memory of her dad becuase she enjoyed doing that with him when he was living.

 

Maybe doing something that was of mutual interest with you and your grandmother would be beneficial.

 

I hope that you find your way of dealing with your grandmother not being physically here on this earth. I wish you well and truly sympathize with what you are going through.