Can't let go

[movinonhard]

Hello All

 

I have been on this site before but under another name. Quick run down about my relationship and current situation. I was with my ex for about 4 years im 25 and shes 21, it was your on again and off again relationship, each time we just couldn't let the other one go. This may sound dumb but for a large portion of the relationship I new it was not meant to be. I never thought she was the one or that i would marry her. We had are good times and we had our bad times, she was really mean in the relationship and I wasn't exactly always the best guy in the relationship. We lived together for the last year and we broke up in about NOV and i moved out Jan 1st. The break was mutual and for the most part we both happy about it and didn't try to hurt eachother.

She is not the one for me and i'm not the kind of guy that she need's either. Do i think that we will never get back together? defiantly. When i first moved out i was so happy that i didn't have to put up with the stuff with her that drove me nuts. But lately ive been incredibly depressed. I didn't talk to her much after i moved out for the first 3 weeks she would call ask me to go over for the most part i said no. But then i did go over and we ended up sleeping together. I think that messed me up more then anythin, from that point on i started thinkin maybe things could work blah blah blah, and then thats when she initatiated i need my space. I found out last wed that she was goin to go down to Toronto for this big party and i asked her if she was plannin on sleepin with somebody she said "possibly" well last week and weekend i was misserable, hardly ate didn't sleep, smoked like a chimney. I told her on that wed that we shouldn't talk anymore she said good. Well i went last night to chech out her website posts that she chats on and the place where the friends she met on it. But she did do somethin that i find trashy but she sees nothin wrong with and it hurts me (one of the reasons we broke up we just have different values).

My friends aren't that supportive basically just because they never liked her there happy that i broke up with her, and still tell me i deserve better. Do i agree with them, most defiantly.

Rate now my to biggest problems is thinking that she is seeing other people, I know its natural, but i try to trick my mind not to think about this kind of stuff or to think "well we are done and in her life time she will have many lovers and i won't be one of them". Also lwhat she did this weekend i don't approve of and i think my new roomate said it best "its no longer your problem"!!! I mean that small little sentence means so much "its no longer your problem" I'm just having a hard time to get this thru my head.. Rate now im single and its lonely, but i also don't want to date because i just feel not ready to give 100% to somebody, but also don't want to be alone. I've been single for a month and half. Alot of my friends tell me that i should be single for awhile to work on myself and that seems like the best but also the hardest thing to do. any suggestions on how to get thru this misserable stage?

[dizziest]

I use the gym, made myself look better, buying clothes, reflect on what you love about your life. If you find yourself thinking about her then think about all the bad things. She sounds like trouble anyway.

[Echo]

Many people can break up with someone knowing FULL well it's the best decision...but the truth is you are human and you have feelings. Even if he/she did things you hated or annoyed you, there are still things that you obviously liked about the person or you would have never been involved to begin with. Maybe it's just an ego thing. How can she actually BE with other people?? I know it sucks...but your friend IS right. It's not your problem anymore, so there is nothing you can say or do about it.

 

Try your best to put it out of your mind and do things for yourself. It will get easier, day by day,