Urgent, May be boyfriendless as of tomorrow.Breaking up is hard to do................

[gugaguga]

Hello,

This is directed to all the people out there who know some ideas on my problem. Well this is whats going on. Today I had a fight with the man in my life. I don't have a clue as to what may of started it. I think that it may be a hormone thing as all women can relate to getting upset for no reason around that time of the month. I said some things that I really didn't mean which lead to a day of not really speaking to each other. I spent the day alone in my room trying to vent while he spent the day drinking his problems away. (which i didn't know about until much later). Later this evening he said that he was leaving in the morning because he came to realize that he didn't want to have a relationship where he was being walked over. (again because of what I said to him). This then led to a few words between us, which weren't so pretty. I don't think that one argument can change the way a person really feels about the other. I know that he said a few bad things but I don't see him for any less of a person. I can't see how he can base a four and a half year relationship on one fight. He didn't say one word until later when he was a few beer in the bucket if you get my drift. Was it the beer talking, does he really mean what he said? I have no idea what to do and I don't know whats going to happen tomorrow or how I should approach the situation. He knows that I'm deeply sorry and that I love him soooo much. I think that I should just leave him alone and wait to see what he has to say in the morning. He has said a few things before when he was drinking and was fine the next day, but he has never said that he was going to leave me. I seem to be going on and on about this but I really don't know what I should do or say that will benefit the both of us. I didn't build on the last five years to have it all fall down around me. Please peoples get back and drop me a few lines on what you think is the best possible solution. Anything whould be greatly appreciated.

GUGA

 

P.S. this forum has worked in the past for me so Im going to try and put some faith in this again.

[Itsok]

I would just leave him alone until tomorrow when he's more sober and then approach the situation in a little more detail. Sometimes when a fight or argument has just occurred, it's hard to pull yourself out of the 'angry phase' and move into problem solving.

 

Don't worry, things will work out the way they are supposed to.

[Süsser Tod]

Looked at your older posts, and seems to me like the same situation, again. Fighting over nothing, or that you may want to believe.

 

Most of the time, if you fight, there is something deeper causing trouble, the fights over meaningless stuff are just the sign that there is something else wrong, like the tip of the iceberg.

 

 

Really don't know what you should do, from three threads, saying that he has never said he was leaving, when in fact, you've clearly stated he did it last year, leads me to believe there is a lot more to the story than what you've told us on this short post.

[dishrag]

People leave relationships emotionally and sometimes the fighting is just the impetus and drama. That's what happened to me. If you start to believe that he left a long time ago, then it might be easy to see that he's just not happy sticking around. If you do the OPPOSITE of what you normally do, he might be intrigued and change his tune. If he leaves, I'd say let him leave and keep strict No Contact like others have done.

[gugaguga]

Well as of this morning everything is a little better. He tells me that he don't want to leave and that he still loves me but is a little distant. Don't want to talk much and seems to still be a little angry. I hope that the worst is over and that everything will be alright. Thanks to those who left messages. Anything was helpful. I'll keep you all posted on us.

Thanks

Guga

[Itsok]

If I were you, I would take a good hard look at where this relationship is heading. I know you have broken up a few times before, and it doesn't seem like too many things are getting resolved.

 

You still fight all the time over menial things...I would start to look towards the future and if you can see yourself enduring this for the next 40 years.