Unavoidable at school

[Life101]

Hi guys,

 

I have a really awkward dilema! my gf and i broke up 2-3 days ago because i think she started feeling different about us, but she still wants us to be close friends since we are in college together and have a same class. I sincerely like this person, and after we broke up we still talk a lot and i think its weird because in the past if me and gf break up we dont talk to eachother and part. But i am so confused in this situation, one hand i don't want to be at her beck and call and the next i dont want to lose her completely!

 

before class we always go out for lunch and we basically do the same stuff we did while we were in the relationships except for the kissing and all, so i dont know how to deal with situation! ne suggestions? and i keep thinking about her a lot and wake up really early for some reason.

I personally don't think NC will do me any good in this situation because i will have to see her everyday and we have the same social circle. But i dont know if she cares about me alone or if i am just person that drifts with her....

[LotusFlower]

Its possible that she is not physicaly attracted to you, but she still loves you. She may also want to feel available. The best thing is to just be her friend, and not treat her any differently then you would other friends. Actualy respect her for creating the space that she needs, but don't be at her beck and call...

Backing off, often makes things seem more clear...if she wants you that way again, she'll let you know. And if she does want you sexualy again, let her know that it isn't fair to you to be used when its convenient.--- is my sponteneous suggestion. =)

[Life101]

I just felt like she lost interest in me. I dont know maybe there is something about me that gives a weird aura that attracts women and then when that aura is gone, our relationships are not strong enough and break...i know i am being too negative of myself but i just can't help to feel that way especially of what happened last year to me...Anyway i am trying not to call her and i know we all suffer from that especially when we're lonely but i wish i had more strength to hold out and be strong!

 

Do you guys think she's playing games with me? i mean she acts like she doesnt care about me like i am just a friend nothing special...i'm sorry for being so cynical, but i can't help it..

[heloladies21]

What you see is the truth, she doesn't see anything romantically with you anymore and once it's gone almost impossible to get it back. Never get down on yourself because such a small percent of the world are naturals at relationships and the rest of us are forced to learn from experience. Just analyze and discuss what happened with you two, learn from your mistakes as well as successes, and move on!

 

I don't think she's playing games on purpose, but her "friendship" with you is most likely a veil to ease her guilt, but what she feels or wants is not really what's important.

 

What do you want? Do you still want her back? Even just a little? Being her friend won't work, 100% sure of this. I see plenty of guys try only to waste their time. I don't really see the point of being friends with exes as one side usually still has residual feelings towards the other and just keeps stringing themselves along.

 

Best to limit contact with her and stop acting like her pseudo bf. It's preventing you from healing and finding someone else. You found her, you'll find another. You can trust me on this.

[Fivek]

I totally agree with heloladies21. I've been in your situation several months ago, and with the help of eNotAlone, I have made tremendous progress these last few months.

 

She feel's different because she wants to explore the dating world. This means that she's no longer interested in you romantically. As heloladies21 pointed out, her friendship is just to ease her guilt. In addition, she wants to keep you as a safety line in case things get choppy out there on the Sea of Life. Now I know the pain of rejection is a terrible, terrible emotion to feel, but once these painful feelings subside you're going to find the clarity to see that you deserve 100% respect and adoration from the object of your affection.

 

Again, as heloladies21 pointed out:

"Best to limit contact with her and stop acting like her pseudo bf. It's preventing you from healing and finding someone else. You found her, you'll find another. You can trust me on this.

 

I agree whole-heartedly.

[Life101]

hi guys, i'd like to thank all of you for your support. I have been taking your advice and not calling her. But we still do go to school together and not only that, she is on the same campus because we both goto business school. Anyway we still act like we're friends and still i guess "hang out" between classes.

 

She is going to china for a semester next year so maybe i can initiate total NC then because by then hopefully i wouldve forgotten her and she would be out of my life(although i dont want that, i really like her) But you are right if i found her than i can find another. Now if i can just figure out what to do with my stupid heart that keeps beating faster when she walks by..sounds childish i know but it sucks! i feel like a 10yr old.

 

Is the theory "you always want something you can't get" always true? because if it is..then if i try not wanting her..i could have her? haha jk. i know i am doing it for myself and not to get her back but in our minds theres always that little person telling us...i wish i could hold her one more time..etc. Im still experiencing Insomnia..sorry for long post!