Relationship to friends (feelings)

[TeachMe]

Do you think that there can still be feelings after a relationship that has gone back to friendship ? especially if both have not dated anyone else except maybe just a little harmless flirting ?

[Ghostrider4042005]

hmmmm well my ex n i tried to become ex again n i told her it wasn't going to work as friendship cuz that's all we would ever be and i think i hurt her cuz i haven't seen the sparkle in her eyes at all but i think in time maybe he/she will come around but until then just give yourself time you'll be ok

[Mstyiyd]

From personal experience, one that I am currently in, I personally find it very difficult to transition from being together to being exes to being friends. All you have is the history. It depends on the person, people, and situation(s). Depends on people's individual coping skills and their personality and temperment (i dont think i spelled that right?!).

 

I have never been friends with an ex because I know myself and I cannot handle it emotionally, particularly since the few exes I've had always hooked up into new relationships way before I did. Some people can do it and more power to them, I sure can't!

 

Seems like one person typically wants more than friendship and from there, problems arise, such as jealousy. Then it can drive the dumper away, when really the dumpee is just trying to please that person and themselves. It's really hard to cut somebody out of your life that was in it for a period of time, and w/intimacy involved. However, I say that with the exception to verbal/mental/physical abuse......I'm tired and may not be making alot of sense but I hope people get the gist of what I'm trying to say...

[Pikey1972]

You hit the nail on the head there, Mstyiyd - I recently decided to end the friendship with my ex as I couldn't keep a lid on my emotions. I felt terrible for ending it, as I'd originally agreed to be friends and we get on really well.

 

Like you, I take a long time to hook up into a new relationship, so the last thing I wanted to hear from my ex is that he's found "someone new". In my opinion, NC is very painful, but nowhere near as painful as hearing that your ex has moved on...

[Pikey1972]

BTW, my ex hasn't "moved on" as such, but I'm pre-empting him by cutting contact sooner rather than later.

[pos69sum]

i'm friends w a couple of exes now, but great friends - we are very distant. and it took a long time of not talking to get to this point.