can't seem to let go or move on

[butterflycloud]

The way that I like to think of relationships is as follows.

 

Relationships are like soul contracts that two souls make with each other before they come to this earth. The contract states the specific lesson that each soul will teach eachother, be it positive or negative. These lessons will enable the souls to develop and learn through experience, well hopefully that is.

 

The contract has an expiry date on ot so when that contract expires so does the relationship and then you move onto your new contract with someone new. These contracts are for lovers, parents, children and even friends.

 

Just a nice way to think of it

[healinginnyc81]

"What if you can't for any reason think of why you both should be apart"

 

 

lewis, I've had the same problem. I think if my ex would've given us a chance, then we could have been so happy together, we could've spent the rest of our lives together. But she wasn't committed to the relationship. That's one reason, I guess why we should be apart. She didn't have the committment to work things out. So if didn't end now, it would've ended later or worse, we would have had conflicts and she wouldn't have put in the work to resolve them. That's the only thing I can think right now. The other thing is I've heard from several people who are older and have been through more than one relationship. They all thought their first love was perfect, but then it ended and later when they found their current partner, they realized that they were wrong about their first love. They just didn't have enough experience to know who was right for them. I'm trying to believe that this experience was to help me learn and prepare for when the right woman comes along.

[friscodj]

I'm trying to believe that this experience was to help me learn and prepare for when the right woman comes along.

 

That is essentially what relationships and dating are all about I believe...

[NJRon]

Relationships are like soul contracts that two souls make with each other before they come to this earth. The contract states the specific lesson that each soul will teach eachother, be it positive or negative. These lessons will enable the souls to develop and learn through experience, well hopefully that is.

 

The contract has an expiry date on ot so when that contract expires so does the relationship and then you move onto your new contract with someone new. These contracts are for lovers, parents, children and even friends.

 

I was going to say the *exact* same thing! A tarot reader told me this analogy once, and, whether I believe it or not, looking at it with this perspective has allowed me to see positives in even the worst of relationships.

[butterflycloud]

I wish that everyone believed that relationships are just soul contracts because it makes it soooo much easier to understand that when a relationship comes to an end it was destined to anyway, and that both of you have walked away with huge opportunities to grow and develop through the issues that you have presented each other throughout the duration of the relationship.

 

I know that knowing this doesnt take away the disappointment though but it helps with the pain of trying to understand why it even happened to begin with

[lgirl]

butterflycloud,

 

it's a nice theory - and one i used to believe in. but in my case, it doesn't take away the disappointment or any of the damage i've been left with thanks to my ex's cruelty. i do not see how being so viciously betrayed helps me to learn anything other than to never to trust another guy again.

 

if it had taught me anything 'good', then maybe i'd believe it more. the only lessons my ex's 'soul' has taught me are that the person you trust the most can be the most treacherous, hurt you the most, and sell you out in a flash; that most people are self-absorbed and selfish, that i made a BIG mistake ever letting anyone get close (won't be doing that again); that nothing lasts, certainy not 'love'... guess that's just me!!

[healinginnyc81]

lgirl, I'm really sorry about your situation. I know it's really hard to trust anyone after an experience like that. I don't really believe in the soul contract theory. I wouldn't say that what happened was "meant to happen". But I do think you can learn from it. Maybe you can figure out if there were signs of him being untrustworthy that you didn't see at the time. Of course, every situation is different so I don't know. But don't write off all people because of him. There are many people who aren't self-absorbed and are willing to give of themselves in a relationship. Love only lasts if both people are compatible, and committed to keeping the love alive.

[lgirl]

thanks bkjsun,

 

i do know that i have learned stuff b/c of it, but i resent that i had to go thru so much pain and damage to myself (my core), to reach this awareness. screw having this awareness is what is say!! it's done nothing but hurt me. i would have preferred to have learned stuff/grown thru positive experiences. not this. it's so destructive