Need some help on a shy girl

[Shma]

I've known this girl for several years since my family is a close family friend of theirs, but we've until recently never really spoken to each other. Their family ethics are like ours- encouraged to stick with our own genders while growing up etc. due to our culture. In any case though very shy, always avoided me

 

Now though I'm 21 and she's 19. I've grown to really like her and have a thing for her now but I'm trying to figure out where I stand with her. She still somewhat avoids me when we go over to their house for family get-togethers etc. I've tried to approach her while she's talking to 1 or 2 of her friends- I can manage a conversation with them and they join in, but she clams up and seems very uncomfortable. Sometimes I feel like I'm being too much of an intruder trying to talk to her, she sort of just keeps staring at her friends and doesn't really talk. (When I leave though I can hear her conversing well with them again). However I finally did manage to get an 'oppurtunity' to talk to her, she made some food for us and I complimented her on it. *laughs* all the years I've known her and that's all we've said to each other

 

Besides her shyness around me I've caught her glancing at me out the corner of my eye, and her mother (I know their parents well) has told me that she has asked questions to her about me, mainly about school and how I recently got into good shape (was back then sort of big, but got down so I could join some soccer and tennis leagues). Why doesn't she just ask those questions to me herself instead of her mom? But I myself have trouble talking to her and I sort of do the same thing, avoid her somewhat. I don't know why

 

For my question though, we really don't know alot about each other. And she's a very good girl, so I don't think she would avoid me just because she doesn't like me/hates me since I don't know what she would be basing that on (I'm a pretty good guy I think, try to be cool anyways). She would at least try and make conversation with me just as a friend? Or maybe she's like me, just having so much trouble trying to talk? I feel bad sometimes because I can't even say 'Hi!' to her, and I feel very rude. From a 3rd person's point of view I think I would look like I am ignoring her (but I think she's awesome!)

 

 

Given all that, does it sound like I might be able to have a chance with this girl? It's the avoidance thing that is throwing me off, she's one of those shy bookworm types so maybe she just has trouble talking to guys? (I think pretty much most of her friends are female)

 

 

I hope I haven't dawdled on too long but I could use some help! I want to look into this possible relationship but I don't want to 'push' it onto her, her family is very very close etc. and I don't want to be an intruder so to speak. But ARGH I wanna know her!!! I suck at this sort of stuff HELP!!!!!

[Shakey182]

quite a story u writen there.

well it sounds like she is very shy, the best thing is to catch her on her own sometime and just compliment her, slowly geting round to how she is, what shes doing etc and then talk casualy about things. if she dose like you but shes shy try something to 'lure her out' buy her a litle box of chocolats and send it anonymously or with out trying to spring it on her do a softer mor gental aproch

i mean im only 13 and im wiht my 1st girlfrend and were not going far

but im just taking things slowly until i get an opertuinty to sweep her off her feet

[ajay]

Shma,

 

Maybe it's because their family is close friends with yours, that's why she is being awkward. What I have to say is short in simple so you better pay attention. Best thing to do is find out what she is interested in. Ask her friends or even her parents if your'e deemed to be so close to them. It is finding her interests that will break the barrier. You should try to learn and appreciate those things that you will find out. Trust me coming up to her and popping such words that will get her attention will get her hooked. By making those kind of stuff, your starting to make a connection with her. After you develop a good raport she will be the one to tell you more about herself.

[Shakey182]

well maybe your intrested in her, and shes intrested in you, but you no she likes u, and u like her more because of it. but maybe shes shy because she donst know if you like her. if you broke the ice you might get along better than you expected

[Eh Im Canadian]

Wow. This girl obviously really likes you! You should definitely talk to her more. Since she talked to her mom, so her mom probably knows as well. Since you are a family friend, it is very easy for you to talk to her. Get to know her, as for her avoiding you, she might just be playing hard to get. You won't be an intruder, because you are their friend! Remember my quote!

[Shma]

Thanks for the help guys!

 

I can identify with the hard-to-get thing. I used to be very shy myself back in high school, and if I thought a girl liked me I used to do the same thing. Very stupid of me! In this case it resonated with me though, maybe that's what she's doing. I mean one on hand she gives me signs that tell me she might geniunly like me (her being shy around me etc.), on the other she avoids me and doesn't make any real effort to talk to me (again I think I am doing the same thing to her)

 

I want to really approach her and talk to her and find out. My main fear again is her family- they're all very close and, given our culture, dating and things are generally something reserved for later on in life. I keep thinking that her parents mights be sort of miffed with me for trying to take their 'little girl' away, you know? They are VERY VERY nice people and I really don't wanna spoil the relationship between our family and theres. But man sheesh I wanna hang out with her!

 

I usually get to see her about once a week since we go with their family to church. I wish our folks weren't there, it would be much easier to talk to her alone! She's currently on break and is back in town from college as well, I wanna try and do something before she leaves. However that one time I talked to her really made me feel relieved, like some big weight was taken off my shoulders. Before that I had seen her twice after she came back, and both times I couldn't say anything to her and sort of ignored her again. Man I regretted it for 2 weeks and it was throwing me off, when I DID finally talk to her though, albeit it a few words, holy crap did I feel better! I'm going to REALLY try the next time I see her and make some sort of conversation!