SupaDupa Posted January 9, 2006 Share Posted January 9, 2006 Ok here is the problem; I would like to hear if there is a possible solution. I am going to try to make this as short as possible. I been friends with a guy for over 4 years or so, never good friends as he lives about an hour from me. Never really hang out with him either. This summer I met him and his GF at a show for a first time in a long time. He has been with her for over 2 years. She kept looking at me a lot more then she should, but i didn't let it bother me as I was in a relationship with a girl. Forward till now. I broke up with me GF over 2 moths ago. Started talking to my friend a lot more, and finally decided to come visit him and his gf. That's when things get WEIRD. I come down to their apartment (he lives with her) and we just talk and hang out. Right a way I notice same thing I did when I first met her at the show. She is very nice to me, and she looks at me a lot more then person with no interest would. As the night continued she got a lot more comfortable around me. She started to get close to me, started touch me while we talked, playing with her hair, etc. I noticed that her pupils are very big when I am talking to her. Well pretty much every single sign you read about she has given it off. So the night ends and I go home. On the way home I can't quit thinking about her as she is so perfect in every way so far. So a week goes by, and I talk to my friend online etc and I get invited to come up to their place once again. I make sure few times if it is really ok, I don't want to bother them, that's when he tells me that she told him that she likes me more then any other friends they both have. So I come up to their place again. When I get there she is not there as she is working. When she got back from work we already had few friends over. As soon as she saw me you could tell right away she was excited to see me. She came up and gave me a hug (did not hug anyone else that was there, and she knew everyone for a lot longer then she knows me). After that she gave her BF a hug and kiss etc. As night went on same things happened, she got really close to me again, even more touching, hugging you guys know the deal, pretty much she is crazy about me, and the bad part is, I am very crazy about her. What bugs me is that stuff keeps happening like is meant to be, I already ended up meeting her parents as they were at a same restaurant as us. They seem to love me more then her BF. I don't wan to talk bad about my friend, but he is far from good looking, he dropped out college and right now his future is not looking too well. To tell you guys the truth I am not sure why she is with him, but she is, and I am guessing she is not very happy anymore. So now I have a big problem on my hands and have no clue what to do. The things I am sure about are: She is crazy about me, I am crazy about her. Right now, non of us made an attempt to communicate that beside the body language signs, but I am afraid as soon as my friend moves out from the apartment (in next few days) she will try to get in touch with me. She already knows my cell phone number and my email address. What is the best way to handle this situation? I know the right thing to do would be just to tell her I do not like her etc. But I would be lying to myself. She is such a great match for me as we have so much in common it seems like we are meant for each other. It is scary. Is there anyway this could possible work out, or it will never work out no matter how we go about handling the situation. Should I let her know that I am crazy about her, or should I continue playing cool. I don't know what to do guys. As far as age goes, I am 24 and she is 20 and we live about 50 min from each other. I also could feel some tensions between my friend and her by the end of the night. My friend is very jealous and seems to be controlling as well. By the end of the night I could sense some tension between both of them. I think he is realizing that she is paying more attention to me then she does to him. I don't know what to do guys. Please help Link to comment
RandomAdvisor Posted January 9, 2006 Share Posted January 9, 2006 He's moving out of the apartment? Why? You're right to be cautious. This has some big potential to blow up in your face. Are you willing to lose your friendship with her BF over this? I think you should just keep your distance from her. If she breaks up with him and decides to approach you, then that will be a different situation. But for you to tell her how you feel now would be wrong. Link to comment
SupaDupa Posted January 9, 2006 Author Share Posted January 9, 2006 he is moving back with his parents since he does not have enough money to pay for the rent or something like that. As far as telling her that i have feelings for her, ya that would not be very smart. How should i act if she does aproach me when he moves out. I have a gut feeling ill be gettin a inocent phonecall pretty soon Link to comment
RandomAdvisor Posted January 9, 2006 Share Posted January 9, 2006 I'm not a fan of people breaking up with someone and then immediately moving on to the next relationship. Even more so when they only break up because they have another person waiting for them. If she is unhappy with her relationship, and her feelings for you are a reminder to her of what she is missing with her current BF, then she should do either one of two things: break up with him, or fix the relationship. How should you act if she calls? I'm not too sure. I know you like this girl and want things to work out between you, but keep in mind that how people have treated others in the past is a good indicator of how they will treat people in the future. If she's all flirty and you're receptive, and it ultimately leads to her getting together with you, that's great for you - for now. But there's no guarantee it will last, and maybe a year or two from now she'll be testing the waters, flirting with some other guy because she's not happy with you. I would suggest you be friendly, but not too friendly. If she openly tells you she likes you, tell her "Then I'd give you the same advice I'd give anyone in your situation who is really attracted to someone else while in a relationship - you should fix your relationship with him, or break up with him." Should you tell her you feel the same way and would love to get together with her? I don't know, but I doubt it. I'm sure other more experienced posters are more familiar with this kind of situation, I'd love for someone else to chime in... Link to comment
SupaDupa Posted January 9, 2006 Author Share Posted January 9, 2006 yes, i am not a fan of that as well. thats how i got left by my last GF. So i know how that works. I am really not sure what to do, i do not want to screw my friend over, but then my feelings for her grow so much stronger every time i see her, and i can tell her feelings are growing as well. So i am guessing it is matter of time before it all blows up. Should i maybe talk to her about what her intenions are with me? I am pretty confused on how to handle this situation so it has a chance to work out. Link to comment
RandomAdvisor Posted January 9, 2006 Share Posted January 9, 2006 I think you talking to her about this would be too aggressive and a bad move....let her make the first move if there is one to make at all. As far as your friend, if you want to keep your friendship with him no matter what then you shouldn't have anything to do with this girl at all. If she dumps him and gets together with you, there's a chance you two can still be friends, but there are no guarantees. Link to comment
SupaDupa Posted January 9, 2006 Author Share Posted January 9, 2006 yeah, yoo too man. Have a update, i was talkin to my friend the other day and he said she is thinking about transfering to the same college i am going to (which means she would get an apartment very close to me). It is just very weird how everything is just falling into place, i dont know Link to comment
diamondprincess Posted January 9, 2006 Share Posted January 9, 2006 dude...slow down.... tell her how you feel, and say what you said here, that jumping into another relationship so quickly will be suicidal to both of you, and that you guys should take some time to get to know each other before starting any form of romantic relationship. just be friends with her before she becomes your gf. also if she calls let her know that you dont want to be the reason she breaks up with her bf, you know. good luck. Link to comment
SupaDupa Posted January 9, 2006 Author Share Posted January 9, 2006 dude...slow down.... tell her how you feel, and say what you said here, that jumping into another relationship so quickly will be suicidal to both of you, and that you guys should take some time to get to know each other before starting any form of romantic relationship. just be friends with her before she becomes your gf. also if she calls let her know that you dont want to be the reason she breaks up with her bf, you know. good luck. yeah, i know So far we did not have a chance to be alone for more then few seconds so non of us said anything. I am only going by the body language and how she acts around me. So far everything she does is a big give away she is very interested in me. I hope she calls so we can talk about the best way to handle this delicate situation. I just hope I can remain "cool" and control my feelings for her when that does happen. Link to comment
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