College

[jeeper]

I would like to know what everyone thinks of keeping a relationship going through college? I would be going to school one of two places both about 3 hours away from her and would probably see her once a week. Anyone have personal experience with this kind of relationship and college?

 

Brett

[LackofColor]

My boyfriend that I had in high school all of junior and senior year went to a different college, all the way accross the country. The only times we saw each other were winter break, spring break, and summer (so hard to let go of him). Rarely Thanksgiving because you know, he's not made of money to fly to California constantly.

 

So when we were apart, we called every single day and it was so different than physical contact. We had to promise and put trust and faith into each other that we would remain faithful. But he always said, "And I promise you this, the further the distance, the sweeter the kiss." We were deeply in love and we both knew that we wanted each other, no matter how far.

 

Are you guys in love? I mean 3 hours isn't so bad at all. If you really love her, and she really loves you and you both are willing to give a little, it should work.

 

But hey, why didn't we end up working out? We grew apart. We went to two very different colleges, we saw each other 3 times a year, we started changing and before we knew it, we didn't have that passion.

 

It'll never be the same, but they do work out. IM me anytime.

[ariyadhana]

I don't think there is anything wrong with trying it, as it's hard to say what's going to happen. But if you are going to make an effort to get together like once a week I don't think that's bad at all then. You have a definite shot, but people change a lot in college, and if you feel the relationship isn't working anymore, let it go and don't try to force it- it will be the best thing for you both.

[jeeper]

well, ive cared about her and and liked her for almost 3 years. but our relationship hasnt been more than a friendship type since about 3 years ago. i already care about her so much and in the next 6 months i know my feelings are only going to grow

[redandblack]

Hey,

 

I am not going to lie to you, the whole long distance thing is hard. I'll try to break this down for ya ;-)

 

The good:

-Develop very good communication

-It's more of a connection of minds and hearts

-Gives you a chance to truly miss eachother

-Gives you some freedom

-Allows you to become best friends

-Times together are INTENSE (so say the least)

 

The bad:

-You miss them so bad it hurts sometimes

-It's easy to take things REALLY seriously and not be fun

-Trust issues amplified if they existed before

-Feel left out at times

 

The ugly:

-There is no physical contact for long expanses of time

 

There are a lot of benefeits to a long distance relationship that many people overlook. However, trust and honesty are crucual. I can't underline that enough times. I truly believe that trust and communication can make ANY relationship last forever.

 

I've been through this deal so you can always PM me if you need help or just want to chat!

 

Take care and goodluck

[RandomAdvisor]

It's possible. My five year anniversary with my GF will be this coming May. A year and a half into our relationship she went away to a school four hours away from me. She's graduating this June. I got to see her once a month or so, and we talk to each other on the phone often. Not everyday, about every other day.

[jeeper]

Well we still have about 7 months to be together before we would be leaving. I actually had forgotten about another school so its possible i might be in San Fran going to Culinary school while she is at Santa Clara. She has already talked a little about what its gonna be like when we have to leave and it sorta sounded like she wanted to be single for college...but i guess we'll see how it goes for now and deal with that when it comes up. And those of you who offered to talk to me through PM or IM thanks alot, I'll be in touch sooner or later.

 

Brett

[redandblack]

it sorta sounded like she wanted to be single for college

 

PAY ATTENTION TO THIS.

 

My ex secretly held desires to be single "for a while" and though "we would probably get back together if we still liked eachother" when I went to university the following year (I've been saving for a few years to go to a university). She didn't tell me she wanted to be alone during this time. Instead she led me on, we did the long distance thing and long story short, she dumped my on my birthday after traveling 150 miles to see her.

 

Talk about this now with her and come to a consensus. If you're going to break up, make it known. If you are going to stay together, you both have to do it fullheartedly. There is no other way. If she is reluctant in staying together, she will dump you once she doesn't need you as a safety zone. It works both ways.

 

Seven months may seem like a long time, but it can go by pretty quickly. Enjoy your time together as best you can. Don't let little things get in the way of your relationship (that's good advice during ANY relationship).

 

Goodluck, man

[jeeper]

Yea i understand that, i have to respect her decision. I guess i just want to see what happens in the next few months and see if she changes her mind or is still set on being single when we leave.

[redandblack]

I understand man. You don't need to jump on anything for now, but I think it's hard to let yourself go fully with this looming over your head.

 

One important thing--if you are her first, once that seed is planted (the "I wonder what else is out there", grass is greener mentality) there is no going back.

[jeeper]

I understand man. You don't need to jump on anything for now, but I think it's hard to let yourself go fully with this looming over your head.

 

One important thing--if you are her first, once that seed is planted (the "I wonder what else is out there", grass is greener mentality) there is no going back.

 

I take it by her first you mean sex...if thats the case i would not be her first...obviously the same goes for her first boyfriend too.

[redandblack]

I meant boyfriend, but I suppose what I said still stands. When the seed is planted, it must be acted upon and gotten 'out of the system'. There is no going back.

 

Take care

[becca2145]

I can honestly say I'm in ur situation.But except my boyfriend of 14 months is all the way on the west coast.I'm in the east coast.It can work.he's only been gone for 2 weeks,and we talk all the time.so if u like/love each other that much nothing should stand in the way of that.