What to do?

[savannahohsavannah]

Suppose you have an elderly parent who has always told you that they can't stand the idea of you having a child out of wedlock, and they have gone as far as threatening your inheritance, and said they won't do anything for you or your child. And then, along comes a cousin, and they are pregnant, and instead of censure this cousin gets assistance for her baby with an unnamed father? Suppose that parent had been pulling nasty scenes with you from (age 12) time to time about out of wedlock pregnancy, and made you fear that you would lose their love, if you ever had a child without the benefit of marriage. And what if it's now too late for you to have a child, and then along comes this cousin, who is now your parents favorite? If you confronted the parent, and they denied it all, would you tell them if they ever wanted to see you again they would have to go to family therapy? Wouldn't you feel that you had, wrongfully put up with an abusive situation, and now that it's too late, they are saying they never really cared about the whole out of wedlock child? I admit it's a cousin and not a daughter/son who is having an out of wedlock child. But it's causing her daughter pain that she's accepting of this one and she's said she would never have accepted her own.

 

What would you think? What would you do?

 

Savannah

[registered]

I find it really weird that they are cool with the cousin having the child and yet they are so uncomfortable about it with you... are you sure they are still uncomfortable about it with you? Could there opinions have changed?

 

You have certain values yeah?

What are your values concerning having a child out of wedlock?

Do you like to stand up for your values?

Is an inheritance more important then standing up for what you believe in?

 

I think in the situation described the parents are hypocritical and over-bearing.

You are your own person, you have to make decisions for yourself and not let your parents interfere.

The parents have offered their opinion, and you have yours.

What will make you happy?

 

The most important thing is to make sure you are happy and make the most of your life - because it is YOUR life and not anyone elses.