isn't this all silly....

[lulu04]

Hey guys. My first post in the dating forum as I am only 3 months out of a 6 year relationship; still dealing with the breakup.

THe other night at work this guy (customer) asked me for my phone number -- but he lives in Wales! (I live in Chicago!) He seemed really nice, guess he's in town a lot for business....he wanted to see if I would like to have coffee, or a drink sometime.

 

I gave him my number (even though I'm uncomfortable) and he called today & was very ....um...schedule-happy, i guess is the best way to put it -- he really wanted to schedule a DATE with me, and was very serious about it and intent upon it, and I was trying to get him just to come back down where I work so I can bring friends with, or at least go to a bar where my friends are....I mean, you just never know. THis is a total stranger!!

 

ANyway, the whole thing seems silly to me. I mean, what is the point?? And if I really liked him, he lives in Wales, so what good would it do me to get attached? I guess I just get nervous and I think it is too soon to go out with people, but on the other hand, why not?

 

I guess I just don't know if I should be pursuing this at this point, or just tell him I can't date anyone right now, much less some guy who lives in Wales!! (although I must say that the accent is quite sexy ). I also don't know how to approach the fact that I don't want to be alone with him right off the bat when he is a total stranger -- I don't want to offend him.

 

How do you do this??? I have never "dated" in my life; I've always had serious relationships.

[Jadtt]

Go on the date. Irrespective of whether or not you are still recovering from a break-up, let him take you out, this is the only way that you are going to become comfortable in the dating scene.

 

My best advice would be to meet him in a public place, let a good friend know where you are going and check in with them (i.e. when you take a bathroom break). My rule of thumb is I NEVER let a guy pick me up on the first date. One of the main reasons for this is because I don't know the person and it makes me uncomfortable to let them know where I live and be stuck in a situation that I couldn't get out of even if I wanted to. My friends and I are big on letting each other know where we are in situations such as these, they get the guys name and phone number just in case.

 

Hey...I'm not paranoid, but I am practical and realistic. And, these days, you just never know about people. As such, it is better to be safe and smart, than stupid and get yourself in a sticky situation.

 

As far as the distance is concerned, who really cares where he is from and how far away you are? You are just going on a date, it is not marriage nor is it a committment. It is just fun night out on the town!

 

Take care and good luck in your decision.

[lulu04]

Ok, thanks...you are totally right, I know it's just a date, I'm just weird about all of this because it's new to me and it's not at all what I want to be doing.... I much prefer being in a relationship.

 

But you are totally right about never being too safe...you really can never tell these days & I may be overly paranoid, but it's hard not to think that way, isn't it?

[Jadtt]

Ok, thanks...you are totally right, I know it's just a date, I'm just weird about all of this because it's new to me and it's not at all what I want to be doing.... I much prefer being in a relationship.

 

But you are totally right about never being too safe...you really can never tell these days & I may be overly paranoid, but it's hard not to think that way, isn't it?

 

Sweet!

 

Yeah, I'm use to relationships as well. But, casual dating can be fun as long as there is no commitment or sexual DRAMA!!!

 

And no, you can never be too safe!

[good_charlotte_freak2]

It can'

t hurt to try him out. So go ahead.

[Dating Coach]

Great advice. It is also good to let someone else know who this person is that you are going out with. Just as a precaution.