"I'm just teasing"

[Venturer]

One of my pet peeves about conversation with people is when they say something to see how others react, then immediately say "I'm just teasing!"

 

Like last night, someone said something to me, and when I barely even opened my mouth to say something, she goes "I'm just teeeeeaaassing!" ... and then I don't even bother to say anything and then I turn to others and talk with them.

 

I think it's lame when people do that.

 

For one thing, when we both know its a joke, saying "I'm teasing" stops the joke in its tracks and makes it too obvious that it's no longer funny. It's a lot funnier if it hangs in the air.

 

Second, it doesn't matter how I or anybody reacts because last night, I BARELY even opened my mouth and didn't even get a chance to respond.

 

I think it's a lame attempt to "cover up" the real intent behind the "tease" in the first place (which is to see how the other person reacts)... and it's not really teasing. And when the person says "I'm teasing" to cover up their intent, they're just BSing and they're toying with people like yo-yos. I don't like that.

 

Was just wondering if anyone think the same way as well?

[RandomAdvisor]

I totally agree. Very annoying.

[RayKay]

Yes, it is passive aggressive, and is a way to cover up their responsibility or intent in saying whatever it is they did.

 

It's rather stupid and annoying.

 

If you really ARE having fun with one another and "teasing" then you don't need to announce it because both of you know that, it is still done respectfully and within limits of the other persons boundaries and you really have to know them to know what is appropriate.

[Mun]

"I'm just teasing"

 

I do that alot...Hmmm.....you all gave me something to think about.

[RayKay]

"I'm just teasing"

 

I do that alot...Hmmm.....you all gave me something to think about.

To me it comes accross as an "excuse" when you feel you may have crossed some boundary or something, make sense?

 

I think if you feel you have, then you just say 'I am sorry, that was a bit over the line". Or if it really IS teasing and you know them, there should be no need to say it!

 

I am not sure what context you do it in though, so it may be different from my experiences.

[Mun]

I mostly do it with men Raykay.

[Cliff 007]

IF someone teases me once that's fine, as long as there doing it with me. But if they tease me too many times, then I have a problem with that.

Tease along with me, NOT AT ME!!!

 

When people say, " I'm just teaseing," They're covering up there true intent. I watch folks like that all the time!!

[RandomAdvisor]

Actually, I should have answered: "Why yes, I've had an 'enhancement'......looks like you could use several yourself....."

 

Yup! You throw it right back in their face, and say something equally or even more insulting. And then follow it up with a very sarcastic "I'm just kidding! Can't you take a joke??" See how they like it.

[traz]

Damn, tough crowd here.

 

I agree that its usually done when a boundary is accidentally crossed...but I don't think its such a bad thing, and I've said it in such situations...

 

Sometimes, you can be joking with someone, but its not ALWAYS easy to know what that person is sensitive about. It happens that someone may make a joke, and the other person may find it a little insulting, or just be a little defensive. In those occasions, someone may say "aww i'm just teasing" or somethin to that affect...not to be INSULTING, but to try and show that they meant it good-heartingly, and meant no offense.

 

If someone does it ALOT, or in a different context, then thats different. But I mean, if someone makes a joke, and then realises that the other person didn't take too kindly too it, and then tries to help the situation out by saying "i'm teasing", I don't hold it against them. I laugh it off with them, and now they know what boundaries not to cross next time...but I wouldn't say it bothers me.

[italianstalian]

what did they say?

[Venturer]

Hi Traz,

 

personally if I think I crossed the line judging by the other person's reaction, I usually say "did I cross the line?" and if they say yes, I say "oh, I'm sorry... didn't mean to."

 

If someone did the same thing to me, I would think that person is cool and is respectful of other's feelings. But if someone said "I'm teasing", it feels like that that person is just jerking me around - as if the joke is on me. But that's me (and also 8 of us who posted on this thread before you did).

 

Italian, what they said isn't relevant for 2 reasons... one, it may be an inside joke between friends (in which case it's not necessary to say "I'm teasing" because it would be funnier if left unsaid). Two, it all depends on the context which is hard to explain over the internet.

[traz]

In a light-hearted situation, it really cuts into the moment and makes it seem dramatic to stop and ask someon "did i cross the line, sorry if I did"...seems like it can kill a fun mood real fast, as oppose to a quick "i'm teasing".

 

Oh well, I won't change your mind if thats how you feel, or how anyone else feels But I don't think you should hold it against anyone for saying it...I was just trying to show that people MAY not mean it in a condescending way.

[RayKay]

In a light-hearted situation, it really cuts into the moment and makes it seem dramatic to stop and ask someon "did i cross the line, sorry if I did"...seems like it can kill a fun mood real fast, as oppose to a quick "i'm teasing".

 

Oh well, I won't change your mind if thats how you feel, or how anyone else feels But I don't think you should hold it against anyone for saying it...I was just trying to show that people MAY not mean it in a condescending way.

 

I think you missed some of the point - as I said, and Venturer said, if it really IS a light hearted, teasing situation, then there would not be a NEED to say "I am just teasing" because there would be some reciprocal "fun" going on. You would both be having fun with one another, and also be able to be respectful with it. You should be able to tell if they are having fun too by their mood, body language, expressions and how they throw them back at you.

 

The use of "I'm teasing" when ever I hear it is when someone DID definitely cross the line, it is very apparent. But in order to avoid being labelled as cruel or something, they laugh it off with an "I'm just teasing" rather then an apology. Trust me, if you crossed the line, it's not the "I'm just teasing" that kills the mood...it was the initial crossing of the line, and the failure to take responsibility for it.

 

If someone is insulted by something, even if it was not the intent on your side, it's only the right thing to do to apologize for it. It does not "kill the mood", I think if someone crosses the line, it is is APPRECIATED if someone apologizes rather then brushes it off as the other's fault for interpreting a "tease" tht way.

[Venturer]

Eloquently put, Raykay. Couldn't have said it better myself!

[traz]

Thats fine, like I said, I'm not changing any opinions My only point was that some people don't mean it in any kind of offensive way...so keeping that in mind sometimes wouldn't hurt.

[confused987]

Usually I say "I'm just teasing" if I'm flirting with someone.. like, for instance, last night I was on the phone with someone I really like, and I said "Oh, you're so funny... funny looking!" and he knew I was joking, but I backed it up with "I'm only teasing."

 

I dunno. I only do it with people that I know well and have this understanding with.