Unknown problem of mine...

[Blondie1122]

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 2 years and we always talk about gaetting married and having children. Lately though I've developed a problem and I'm not exactly sure what it is. I've started to notice things more and I really let them bother me. My boyfriend is a big flirt, but I know that he would never act upon it. He doesn't think that he has a flirting problem, but others around him even think he flirts a lot. He calls it "being a friendly person". I try to talk to him about that, but like I said he doesn't think that he has a flirting problem. So this leads to girls starting to like him and calling him, and wanting to go to movies w/him, spend time with him, and date him, and this is all because he is such a flirt that they don't know that he has a girlfriend. I know he loves me because he tells me so all the time, and I know that he would never cheat on me because he has been cheated on, but I have no clue why I let this bother me if I know he loves me with all his heart. Anyone have any clue??? Then another thing is that lately I've noticed him looking at other women. He tells me that I'm beatiful all the time and that he thinks I'm perfect, but if this holds true, then he does he need to look? So, this makes me feel I'm not pretty enough for him. So, I've started working out a lot more than what I used to and I've started taking diet pills, and that upsets him because I don't need to be taking the diet pills. I tried to tell him that I feel I need to change my body for him because he feels the need to look at other women. So, this makes me unhappy with my body of course, and he has been telling me lately that I can't love him until I love myself. The thing is though that I haven't had a problem with my body until recently. I've always been very active in sports and in good shape so I know there is nothing wrong with my body, but I get it in my head that there has to be something wrong. Then this fall he is moving in with some girls into an apartment. At first it was him and 3 guys but 1 of the guys got out of the lease, and another guy that he is going to be living with found these 2 girls and had them sign the lease before anyone knew about it. I've tried to talk to him about it, but then he thinks I don't trust him. But I do. These two girls flirt with him all the time, they are always around him and if they aren't, they are calling him. He thinks that they are just trying to be nice about it. I don't know what my deal is, and I know that if I want to keep my boyfriend in my life forever, I need to figure out what is going on. SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME!

[kyla10199]

hey,

i'm so sorry about the problems you've been having. have you talked to your boyfriend about his flirting? if you haven't, you really need to. if he is looking at other women and flirting with them, and then "forgetting" to tell them that he has a girlfriend, then maybe he isn't ready to be involved in a relationship so serious. what he is doing is completely unfair to you, and you need to make that clear to him.

Whatever you do, don't try to change your looks or your body for him. if you are going to do it, do it only for yourself, and do it safely. please don't resort to dangerous eating habits. a healthy diet and moderate exercise are all you personally need to stay healthy, considering that you already sound to be in pretty good shape. don't change yourself for anyone but you. stay true to yourself.

 

 

wishing you the best of luck with your boyfriend!

~kyla~

[cookies]

hey blondie...

 

i completely agree with kyla on this. From what uve shared with us, he has given u reasons to feel this way...i wouldnt be able to accept these plans of 2 chiks movin in, especially with the flirting. Its nice to hear "I love you", but its the actions that makes or breaks a relationship, and it doesnt seem as if hes puttin much effort into easing your mind about other chiks, asides saying I LOVE YOU.

 

i can tell u that I love you,...which I do in a sisterly manner..and is why i choose to be an important part of enotalone.com. But sweety, dont be blinded to your instincts. This must be addressed and in a calm manner. Let him know the importance of what ur feeling about him in their presense and how its affecting your feeling of security in ur relationship..

 

ONce they move in, ur gonna feel even more crushed and miserable...without some resolution beforehand. If thats not what u want, then you should let him know this...and if hes going to go against what u wish for, then think hard about weather or not the relationship will be healthy and long lasting, or if u should get out. Never change anything about urself for a man, if its something that will booste ur confidence, do it for urself. When we are feeling betrayed heartbroken, we may let ourselves go, and not realize it. Start taking REAL good care of urself, eat healthily, drink alot of water..and work out and ull feel incredible and sexy...and ur outlook on how u view him or those chiks will change as a result...

 

then im almost certain the tables will notice, and he will take notice of u more...keep us posted so we can help u sort thru this..good luck..

 

cookies