Is It A Man Thing Or A Woman Thing?

[ONE SXXY LADY]

Who has a tendency to come back to their ex'es more often? Men or Women? Has anyone noticed a difference in the mindset there?

[TiredMan]

I don't think you can judge that one as obviously each case is different. But I can say, in most cases, that women will forgive infidelity more (since sex many times isn't as emotional for men). Men will jump through hoops more for women since it ends up being a competition since your average woman has many guys hitting on them in their lifetime so the guy feel like they have to "put on a show" to impress them.

[Msnak]

TiredMan--interesting comment about the part about women being hit on more, which results in men jumping through hoops. LOL! It's pretty much true, I think guys know that they have a lot of work to do. And when they don't do it, they sometimes lose out.

 

Wouldn't you say that's why women are usually the mad ones in a relationship when the romance dies? Because the man stopped "doing the work" it takes to keep a woman happy. And women, I admit, are often not satisfied with status quo, we require originality and consistency.

 

Back to going back to ex's...I've tried it just once. It was a crush that I couldn't get over, so when I had a chance I approached the guy and he was interested but in a quandary...his ex-gf was expecting his first kid. So, I got over him in like 3 minutes! LOL!

 

I've had about a dozen guys who will call me, visit me, etc and try to come back into my life. If they're not jerks or don't burn bridges (mistreat me, leave on bad terms, etc) I give them a try. Actually, right now, there's a guy I wish would return! But he's got stuff to figure out first, or I don't want to be bothered!

[TiredMan]

For me, personally, I don't believe in a guy "doing the work" as you mentioned. I think a relationship is two people putting in equal work. I have only tired to impress a woman once in my life and when she seemed content with me doing that, I dumped her (on Valentine's day when she called wondering where he gift was. I was away at school which is why I couldnt see her). To me, that is just very unattractive.

[TiredMan]

There is no way to know who commits it more unless u poll every couple ever obviously.

[LiquidCherry]

I have only tired to impress a woman once in my life and when she seemed content with me doing that, I dumped her (on Valentine's day when she called wondering where he gift was. I was away at school which is why I couldnt see her). To me, that is just very unattractive.

 

Huh? Your girlfriend had to call you on Valentine's Day? And you hadn't sent her a card/gift/flowers? And you then dumped her for wondering why? Huh?

 

I think from a girl's point of view Valentine's Day is a must-do kind of thing. (Unless the couple comes to some kind of mutual decision before hand not to celebrate but why would anyone want to do that?)

[BillyJean714]

I'd say it's 50/50. Both men and women have the same tendencies to get back with their ex's for various reasons. In terms of infidelity, it's about equal as well. It just depends on the person.

 

In terms of dometic violence/abuse, it seems like women who do stay with abusive partners do so, because they have unresolved issues in the past. They may put up with it because they were abused as children themselves- either physically, verbally, and worst case scenario- sexually and all of the above. Maybe it's the same for guys as well. But, I do notice a tendency for women who do forgive their men for beating them up. They tend to cling to "hope" thinking that their husband/boyfriend can change, when in fact, they won't and don't want to. I know. I've been through an abusive relationship myself.

 

But, I think that everyone eventually learns. Unfortunately, for some people, we often learn the hard way. At least, we learn! That's what counts. Some people don't, which is really unfortunate.

[Msnak]

OK, here's a variation on this question...for ex's that go back...is there a tendency for that to happen in short-term relationships or long-term relationships? (For example, if someone's together 6 years and breaks up, then one person goes back to the other, versus someone who's together five months and goes back.)

[TiredMan]

Huh? Your girlfriend had to call you on Valentine's Day? And you hadn't sent her a card/gift/flowers? And you then dumped her for wondering why? Huh?

 

I think from a girl's point of view Valentine's Day is a must-do kind of thing. (Unless the couple comes to some kind of mutual decision before hand not to celebrate but why would anyone want to do that?)

 

No i dumped her for expecting me to jump through hoops for her. When we went out on our first day. Not only did she not OFFER to pay, she walked away when the time came. I would have paid but I mean, walking away? She showed me she was that type of person. So when she called me on that day, I said forget it and bye. I knew it wasn't gonna last.

[LiquidCherry]

No i dumped her for expecting me to jump through hoops for her. When we went out on our first day. Not only did she not OFFER to pay, she walked away when the time came. I would have paid but I mean, walking away? She showed me she was that type of person. So when she called me on that day, I said forget it and bye. I knew it wasn't gonna last.

 

Ooohhh, ok. Sounds to me like she might have been a little bit high maintanence and perhaps old fashioned as well. I don't mind going dutch or even paying myself in an established relationship but on a first date I too would like the man to pay. But from what you say it sounds like she might have had an attitude about it. Ah well.

[TiredMan]

Ooohhh, ok. Sounds to me like she might have been a little bit high maintanence and perhaps old fashioned as well. I don't mind going dutch or even paying myself in an established relationship but on a first date I too would like the man to pay. But from what you say it sounds like she might have had an attitude about it. Ah well.

 

No I would have paid for the date and all that. My problem was that she walked away, much less didn't offer. That showed me A LOT about her. So I "stayed with" her for a couple of months for kicks. Not someone I could have taken seriously when she had THAT kind of attitude. It's such a turnoff.