He smokes at 15--i REALLY like him.

[metallicachica247]

Okay, so this guy who I have previously gone out with, and have hooked up with several times told me that he stopped smoking. Well i saw him again this past weekend and he told me he is going to start "heavily" again. Well, I know hes not trying to be mean to me because the whole car ride back home (2 hours) from the beach he had his arm around me, and when we got out of the car, when my mom and brother went in his house for a minute we made out. I am absolutely devistated because I like him a LOT and he thinks that since his friend's dad, who started smoking at 9 is in his 40s and has a while left to live. I dont know how to tell him he has to stop. I told him before I knew he liked me LIKED me again that I wanted him to stop, but he said "I'll be fine, and besides I would rather have people know how I died rather than just die of old age." I really want him to stop smoking. I dont want him to get hurt. Also, I am stressing a LOT over this and when i stress i cut and i told him that if I am going to stop cutting, it is like him stopping smoking. he just said "cutting isnt a physical addiction, just a mental one, and smoking is both." i dont know what to do. any advice?

[Serendipity1607307077]

It is hard to stop smoking but it's an ugly habit, I hate it... if my partner was a smoker I would tell him to stop that right now or I'd leave, that's how much I hate it!

 

If he respects you he should stop... I mean, it is his choice and all, but it's not very attractive kissing an ashtray...

[darkblue]

It is his choice.

In my opinion, you should never be in a relationship to change someone.

 

If it bothers you that much - you don't have to be in a relationship with him...

[metallicachica247]

but i dont want to leave him for one problem. he hasnt left me for cutting...

[smallworld]

It's sweet that you care so much about his health, but like DN said, it's his choice. I'm not a smoker nor have I ever dated one, but at one point in my life most of my friends were smokers and so I understand how you feel. *Cough, cough.

 

Smoking is an addiction. If you feel this strongly, you can try talking to him and letting him know how much you care about him, but the truth is the only person who can make him want to quit is himself. If you can't accept him being a smoker, than you're better off just being friends with him or letting him go.