Long Term Relationship and My Damn Curiousity

[BlueBaron]

Hey all. As of recently, me and my 1st and only girlfriend of over a year and a half came to college. Before that, we had been through about 1/2 a year or so doing the long distance relationship thing (b/c i was in college and she wasnt).

The other day, she had asked me if I'd wanted to see other people. In the honest sense of that she was my first girlfriend, and I had no experiences other than her. Well spur of the moment I thought about it and had said no.

 

But now the more I think about it the more I'm kinda wondering ya kno? I'm sure I should be looking at other girl's personalities to make sure that my g/f's is the right one for me, but then again I REALLY don't wanna leave her or make her upset.

Then of course theres the problem of I never really was able to get a date when I was younger (my current g/f came onto me, funny story), so even IF i were to say that I'm going to try and go out on a few dates, I'm not even sure if i'd be able to get them.

 

I guess my biggest concern is that I might not be 100% sure what I want or who COULD be out there for me. Cause she sorta started talking about getting married half jokingly (in that it wouldnt be right now, it'd much later) so I guess that scares me a little bit b/c I wanna be SURE she's the right girl for me. I know for a fact that I love her, but I need to kinda decide if we're really compatible or not.

I kinda feel like a guy who's only ever had one meal his entire life. I get the feeling as soon as something new or different came along, I might REALLY enjoy it at first, but then I might realize I liked what I had at first more. Or vice versa.

 

 

In conclusion, I think about things too much, but I could still use a little advice ne ways

[Bethany]

Do you think that she would wait patiently for your return if you do find someone else? I certainly wouldnt. I would be hurt and feel betrayed and might even get out there and find someone new of my very own, one who wouldn't even think about hurting me when he knew that I loved him enough to consider marriage to him.

Don't be a fool and fall into the 'grass 'could' be greener on the other side' trap. It very rarely is and when you do something like that, you devastate the person you love, damage your relationship, lose all the trust and it will never be quite the same again.

Why have cheap burgers on a Saturday night when you can have steak every day of the week with the woman you love?

[Itsok]

To be honest, what you are feeling isn't uncommon. Everyone wonders 'what else might be out there' but you know what? A lot of times the grass isn't greener on the other side of the fence. Especially men/boys tend to look for greener pastures, and end up regretting it quite severely.

 

If your relationship isn't good, break up. If it's good and you love her, stay. If you want to date other people, break it off and both of you go your separate ways.

[Jessy]

Hey Blue, I can understand your situation, but don't do something you might regret. If you love your girlfriend, and you're happy, stay like Bethany said. Once you hurt her like that, she's not going to want you back... because she'll know there are better things out there for her. BUT if you're unhappy, and you really need to experience more things that badly, break it to her softly. One thing though, in dealing with relationships, you also have to deal with letdowns, and heartbreak. If you're ready for that, go ahead. If you're content with your relationship, and don't feel like hurting, maybe you should be single... That is another option, you know. You can always tell your girlfriend you're sorry but you need time and space. You don't always have to be in a relationship to see what someone's like. Get out there, date around, have fun, and don't get tied down! It does not seem like you're looking for anything too serious, so just go with your heart.

[redandblack]

Wow. Is this my ex?

 

Seriously though.

 

Think about what you are about to do. I'm going to assume that there is nothing (seriously) wrong in the relationship. Things are great! She loves you more than anything and you're still "wondering what's out there". Look at what you have, is it not good?

 

This is extremely common, especially for people who are on thier first relationship (sometimes there are reasons why you had to wait so long for a partner). Either way, you're considering emotionally crushing this girl who has nothing but for love for you.

 

Don't be a fool and fall into the 'grass 'could' be greener on the other side' trap. It very rarely is and when you do something like that, you devastate the person you love, damage your relationship, lose all the trust and it will never be quite the same again.

Exactly. If my ex was to want me back, I honestly can't say if I would want her back. I feel extremely betrayed and don't know if I could trust her ever again.

 

Think HARD and LONG about this. Realize what you're doing. Ask yourself if you're ready to say goodbye and mean it.

[BlueBaron]

When I said earilier

The other day, she had asked me if I'd wanted to see other people.

I hadn't meant as in breaking up. More along the lines of taking a break so that I (and possibly her, b/c I wouldn't say its fair for just me to be free) could go on a few dates with other girls (not that I have ne in mind) and see what I thought. The thing was, before that point I hadn't thought about it much. NOW what I'm wondering is if that's a good idea or not.

 

If I were to do something like that tho, then there's always the issue of her thinking well what was he doing? was it just a date? did she try and kiss him? did he try and kiss her? Ya kno, stuff like that. Even though I would NEVER cheat on my girlfriend, she probably would still be what-if-ing about it b/c that's how she is.

 

Then if I don't do it, then I'm with my girlfriend forever. I may have some idea of what I want, but then I'll prolly always have a small thought in the back of my mind that I settled for the sure thing.

 

Lemme also say that our relationship is pretty good right now, and that unless something changes I'm still gonna be with her for a long time.

[p0w3RFuL]

Without reading other replies, my opinon is: If your enjoying yourself then stay with her. There is no reason to leave somthing so great just because your curiouse.. curiosity killed the cat, in this case kill the relationship.

 

If your happy with your relationship, stay. If you feel something is missing then talk it out, if there is still something missing and your really unhappy then end it.