String of seemingly prophetic coincidences leaving me infactuated yet shy & confused

[swtpea1221]

Basically, there's this boy that I keep running into around campus, and there have been so many coincidences lately, I'm wondering if there is a reason for us meeting besides the inspiration we share among our shared passion of music.

 

He doesn't seem as interested in me as i am in him, but I feel like God has a hand in all of this, and it's driving me bonkers b/c regardless if God has a plan in this or not, I'm constantly plagued with the thought of him and continually wanting to at least be friends with him b/c it is rare that I find someone who shares so much as me.

 

I'm really confused on what to do. Since we aren't close friends, if I initiate any type of talking, it seems as if it's too blatant that I like him and that I'm coming after him even if it's just a friendly way of trying to get to know him better. And even though sometimes I say I just want to be friends with him, I also think that I'd be frustrated if he only thought of me as a friend- I'd probably get sad and very disappointed, so I'm debating on just giving up and trying to forget him. I don't want to feel stupid and rejected so I'm constantly weighing the pros and cons of even making an effort to say hi to him anymore if I happen to see him.

 

I guess it's hard to give up though b/c I'm stuck on a dream - I guess the dream that one day I'll find my missing link - someone who isn't perfect, but perfect for me. Are all guys players and mud like my dad says, or could there possibly be a guy like me who is true to his word and really seeks goodness like this guy seems to want to do?

 

Or, should I give up on him? If he doesn't initiate anything, should I wait or should I message him if the opportunity arises? Is it possible for one person to have a prophetic feeling about their signif. other before the other? Or must they both feel it at the same time?

[LostnConfused]

There are some good guys out there. If you don't give him a chance you'll never know. You need to ask yourself if you can live for the rest of your life never knowing what could of been. Oh and I think there is something, call it what you will, driving all of us.

[atraceofblood]

please, please, please, take the opportunity and find out if he's the right one for you! At least try! please!

[Markers]

"if I initiate any type of talking, it seems as if it's too blatant that I like him and that I'm coming after him even if it's just a friendly way of trying to get to know him better"

 

 

NOOOO! I hate that attitude. I'll tell you how this works - if you start talking with someone who likes you, he will think you like him, yes! But what's the problem in that? I thought you wanted to get together and what could be a better way than that? You're not telling him it straight, you're making him guess. If he likes you, he'll hope that you like him, and he'll find you attractive because you're not too easy (by telling outright) but he knows he has a chance because you're taking some kind of interest.. and that makes you attractive and he wants more and you guys are gonna work out nice!

 

Now, if he does NOT like you and you talk to him, he probably won't even think about it enough.. and he won't think you like him.

 

So go and start talking to him right now!

[swtpea1221]

Thanks, I'm appreciating all of your advice, and I will most likely, when I have some more time, message you all individually with another "thank you" b/c it really means a lot to have the extra support.

[swtpea1221]

Also, I must update you about this strange type of correlation that I'm noticing b/t the peace that I feel within myself and the randomly bizarre "coincidences" that happen among this boy and myself.

 

The other day, I was really feeling depressed. Just completely unmotivated and sad about not having "the one," my "missing link." I couldn't understand why I'd been praying so much for guidance, understanding...etc, but still feeling like I was getting nowhere.

 

So, I decided like I used to do a lot last year when I was feeling distraught, to open up the Bible ask God to lead my hands to the right pages that could help answer the weighty tribulations on my mind.

 

Well, I found some really reassuring scriptures that put me ease as if God was saying, "stop worrying!! He will come!" (Philemon 8-22) Along with another message, "My heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." (Psalm 73: 25-28). The second one made me think that I was being too desirous of the flesh. I wanted a body rather than goodness, and complete goodness would come from God anyways, something I always tend to forget about.

 

Well, reading the scriptures made me feel better. I went to bed and had this dream. Now, you should probably know that for this entire semester I haven't been sleeping well and have actually started dreading going to bed. I HATE sleeping because I either have nightmares or wake up a million times throughout the night.

 

But that night, I had this miraculous dream of peace. It was one of those things that you can't really put into words, but I remember feeling completely at ease. There was a sense of revelry and humble serenity. It felt like I was nowhere in particular, yet exactly at the place that I should be. It was so comforting, I woke up and knew that this dream would be the closest thing that I'd ever feel to peace here on earth.

 

When I went about my day, I realized I wasn't hung up over not knowing what would become of me and this boy. I wasn't as crazily obsessed about him as before - I could tell because I wasn't constantly seeking him out around campus or thinking about him 24/7.

 

Well, wouldn't you know, the next day we randomly meet (twice)...

[swtpea1221]

The first time we met could be attributed to a random coincidence:

I was sitting at a computer in the computer lab, and he (unaware that I was there) sat down at the same table to use the computer that was directly accross from mine. Then, at the same time, we both must have wondered who we were sitting accross from and peered our heads overtop of our computers at the same time. It was really funny, and he was like, "wow, that was weird." lol.

 

Well, him sitting there led to a conversation about grad schools and music therapy, (a recent revelation that I had on my own but spurred by his inspiration of helping me realize my passion for music) in which he told me that he had been similarly looking into music therapy options as well!

 

But the second time..

Then, later that night, we randomly saw each other again at the cafeteria. Now, this wouldn't seem quite as "coincidental" if:

1. I never go to that dining hall but decided to go that day to cultivate a friendship with a girl on campus

2. He lives off-campus and never goes unless someone gives him a guest meal

3. He ended up sitting down at a table that was directly accross from mine just like at the computer lab

4. When we noticed each other, I was talking to my friend at the table about the SAME EXACT topic that I had talked about with him 3 weeks ago in the libarary. (The topic was about following your passions and having faith that God will lead us in the right direction and not worrying about money.)

5. This topic wouldn't have been so important except that it was what spurred our first connection, gave me inspiration to go into music therapy, and was so inspirational to me that I wrote a guitar song about it that night and played it for him.

 

So, yeah.

All I can conclude from this is that whenever I'm feeling at peace with myself and w/ God, this boy seems to randomly pop up into my life.

[Markers]

I want to warn you about these coincidences. Sometimes they are great, of course, and they're signs. But sometimes you're just making stuff up and you're obsessing. To me, in your most recent post, #1, #2 and #4 doesn't mean too much. I mean, he didn't know you were coming, you didn't know he was coming. Also I don't catch the point in #4. Number 3 is nice though, hope you took the chance to make eye contact with him

 

Anyway you need to stop thinking about him so much.. otherwise you might get badly hurt incase something goes wrong. Being sad about not having "the one" is not really good, rather enjoy being single while still looking for "the one". For as long as you don't get obsessive about that guy and seeing signs everywhere (this has happened to me, and I can tell you it feels bad when the whole thing collapses), you should be okay.

 

One thing we have in common is that we seem to have great trust in God. It's great that you have that, I want to remind you that Christ tells us that anything we ask from God in Christ's name, God will give us. Just remember to love your neighbour and pray - search for God, and God will give you everything your heart desires.... since He gave you that desire.

 

 

Psalm 37:4

 

 

4 Delight yourself in the LORD

and he will give you the desires of your heart.

 

 

Phil 2:13

 

 

13for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose.

[swtpea1221]

Hey all,

 

Thanks to those of you who messaged me or posted some really thoughtful advice. Markers hit the nail on the head - one of my weaknesses is obsession, and I tend to get carried away with it by dwelling on things both good and bad.

 

I wanted to write you all and let you know that I did take your advice.

 

You need to ask yourself if you can live for the rest of your life never knowing what could of been.

 

I thought a lot about what you said, and I definitely don't want to end up regretting something out of fear. So I messaged him this past Saturday and asked him if he wanted to go into the city with me to buy a new guitar string etc. But he never messaged me back or called me, and I know that he checks his messages daily b/c I often see him posting messages to other girls online. So, as with the other "coincidences," I'm taking this to mean sign as well - Move on!

 

if he does NOT like you and you talk to him, he probably won't even think about it enough.. and he won't think you like him.

 

I feel pretty lame for initiating and making an effort, but on the other hand, I feel both relieved from any regrets that I could have had if I didn't try, and also, if he never really liked me, he probably hardly even noticed that I did like him.

 

So all is well. I really appreciate the advice and the support. Now, I'm moving on and taking this experience as another piece of wisdom to add to my journey. I have also realized, upon talking with more people both in the forum and on other networks, that what I was missing all along was support - not necessarily from a signif. other.

 

In addition, I also realized that the guy that I liked isn't as spiritually strong as I idealized him to be. He has inspired me to follow my musical passions, but his inspiration should not be confused with the desires of the heart. Many times, as I am coming to see, we search so hard to find what is right in front of us among friends and family - love, peace, and joy.

 

Please keep me posted on the latest among your lives. Your words mean a great deal, and please let me know if there's any way that I can help to support you! Thanks!!! and Best

[Markers]

Ew, too bad Not replying sounds a bit rude to me, maybe he wasn't the right one for you after all. Good job for making the move! The ball is in his corner now - he'll ask you out if he wants now.