She makes me feel jealous!

[Gabrovo]

Hi there!

 

First of all, I don't know whether I am on the right place to set that topic. However, I decided to set it here, cause it seems to be the most visited by many people.

Here is my problem. I have a profound feeling to a girl, I like her very much, she also likes me very much and we are almost on the gate of starting a relationship. Everything between us is so clear and nice. I really think I love her and soon I intend to make my confesion. But tonight, while talking with her, she told me that next weekend she intends to go to another city to meet a guy who is an old friend of her. She used to talk polite and nice things about him in the past, but tonight I really felt jealous. The worst thing is that she will stay in his house. It makes me feel bad, really bad. I am also almost sure I will not be able to sleep tonight.

Yeah, I don't have the right to forbid her anything, but I've got the feeling they are going to have sex together. How cruel girls can be. I have never suspected she is able to deceive me. She is trying to attract as much guys as possible. She is tender with me and with him, she talks with me and after 30 minutes I catch her talking with him on the phone.

Please, people help. What is the right choise? What should I do?

Thanks for all advices in advance!

[babycristy456]

I think you have reasons to be jealous. But before you jump to conclusions, ask her politely (without accusing her) about her feelings for this guy. "Do you think of him more than a friend? Have you had any past relations (sexual) with this guy? Why are you going to sleep over his house?"

 

After she answers your questions, tell her how YOU feel about it. That you think it is inappropriate for her to stay there since you and her are almost dating. If she does not respect that, then you should think twice.

 

She might just consider this guy a friend after all. If it is okay with the two people involved (you and her) then it is okay. But you are abviously bothered by it. Without being too harsh, stand up for what you feel because if she thinks this behavior is okay with you, she might continue it after you two get very seriously involved (which might bring conflicts along).

 

The other question is, why didn't she invite you along? If she lets you, maybe you should go and see what type of friendship they have. Sometimes you can tell by seeing how two people interect.

[Gabrovo]

Thanks for your reply!

 

You are right talking with her on this problem is the only way for solving it.

But I believe tonight I showed myself too much as weak character. I asked too much about him and it makes my reputation in her eyes low.

Or probably this is her aim. It is possible to make some experiments with me - just to see my reaction, I don't know.

Actually now is becoming a little bit indifferent for me whether she will stay with him. She is even not my girlfriend yet and only God knows if she will be. I know only one thing - I don't need to suffer anymore for girls, cause it is useless.

I prefer I didn't know what she is going to do in the weekend. I have just created a good imagination about her, I have just began to have sexual fantasies with her and now - a great disappointment. They will have sex, I am sure. I should stop my relation with her NOW. NOW before it gets too late! Or just to have sex with her after telling her I love you - it will be my sweet revenge if I understand she had sex with him. I also can be cruel!

[babycristy456]

You keep saying that she is going to have sex with him...but ever gave you that idea? Has she had sex with him in the past? Does she act like she is attracted to him?

 

Don't jump to conclusions yet. Talk to her and ask her how she feels about him. If this guy seems to be in the way of you and her, then don't even get into a relationship because they are probably going to continue being friends. And if that bothers you, then it won't work out between the two of you.

[Gabrovo]

No, I don't think they had sex before. But this is not what disturbs me. I am annoyed of the fact that this is the FIRST time she goes in his city ESPECIALLY to see him and she will stay not in hotel, but in his house. Previous times he was the one who used to come in our small town to see her. In my opinion it seems painfully obvious she is going there with only one purpose - sex!

My problem is that there is no way to prove what she intends to do. She may have sex with him, but also not. I can not be sure and if I blame her after that it will be a terrible mistake. Feelings are not facts. It is still indifferent for me what she will do (as I said before she is not my girlfriend yet), but I am not sure one day I will be calm and happy with girl like that who acts like a whore!

[babycristy456]

Ahh...don't worry about it. Thank yourself for not getting involved with her yet. She might have secret feelings for this guy. You need to talk to her!!! Find out the answers...dont push too much though since you are not going out officially. But if you don't like this behavior, just quit it while you are still ahead.

[flutterby]

It sounds to me as if she may be trying to get you to either confess your feelings for her or possibly make an exclusive relationship with her. I have been wrong before but it sorta sounds like this could be a possiblity.