i feel empty

[teacup]

i got out of an abusive relationship a year back. kept myself busy for awhile and was doing fine. then i started to burn and crash.

 

lately i feel this big emptiness inside of me. that i try to fill usually with men's attention. i attract guys, they ask me out, and if they pull away i try to get their attention back. but when i get it back it doesnt seem so good anymore.

 

im bored and lonely and unfulfilled, no purpose, no point. i feel empty all the time. no real motivation to do anything. what is wrong with me?

 

i know the men thing is like a temporary bandage. it's all games and it's no fun anymore. i havent met a really great guy that i think would be great for me. man, some of these guys, after getting to know them more, i suddenly dont care if i know them anymore. but it doesnt really make me happy. im losing interest.

 

1.isnt there something permanent that will fill this gaping hole in me? what do i do?

 

2. why the hell do i feel this way?

[Serendipity1607307077]

I'm sorry to hear about how you are feeling... it really sucks to feel empty inside..

 

1. Is there something permanent? That is up to you really... it might take you a while to find a permanent solution, but stay positive about it... remember that you are still scarred by the abusive relationship - you might think you're over it, but perhaps give yourself a bit more time... perhaps if you are being a bit "clingy" the guys are being a bit scared off??

 

2. To feel what you feel is normal for someone getting over a breakup - doesn't matter if it was a year ago, you are still feeling the backlash from it... it will take time to get past it, but stay strong and believe in yourself! Stay confident in yourself too - and if you get into a relationship, don't worry about scaring him off, just focus on enjoying yourself and having fun... if the guys sense that you are feeling a bit reserved, they might be put off..

 

I dunno, just my thoughts!

[teacup]

the emptiness has nothing to do with men or abuse or past relationships. im just empty and finding out that men dont fill it. bleh. i need something else.

[Serendipity1607307077]

What hobbies do you have? Sometimes that can help...

 

Maybe you should try being with a girl? Serious! You never know!

[sonjam]

teacup, you are right, men can't fill the void in your life. Only you will have to change your behaviour partern, and find out what will fill it.

 

You are so used to relating to certain men in certain ways (the pulling back, and getting interest back thing) that if you do it any other way, you loose interest. That is a cycle that probably had it's offspring in your past, and that you need to break. Approach different types of guys than what you would normally, first start up a friendship, and then go on to dating, or join a new cirlcle of friends, gym or club. You will be amazed once you break your old habits and the cycle, how your life can change. You might feel a bit awkward at first, but you will settle in nicely soon.