Indifference

[theantibarbie23]

Indifference

 

I would beg on raw bloodied knees,

To feel a drop of affection from you,

But you'd look at me with vacant eyes,

And chastise me for soiling your rug.

 

Any comments are welcome, am new to writing non rhyming poems so I don't mind constructive critisism at all

[cinderella jones]

i like your choice of words.....it shows great expression and boldness..

"I would beg on raw bloodied knees,

To feel a drop of affection from you, ...."

[dreamnwideawake]

I've been feeling awful this week. my breakup occurred on Monday. I feel what you are writing. He has so much scorn for me, yeah, he'd be pissed that I bled on his rug. But then he'd be indifferent, which hurts really bad.

[kimmie11479]

good that's good! I feel the same way about my ex. He would hate me for the blood on the rug.

[kimmie11479]

I ment god that's good!

[Ms. Babydoll]

I really liked that, it had a sort of feeling of rejection or pity, well done