WHEN TO USE NC??

[Echo]

Just curious.. WHEN exactly is NC useful? Is it when we think a partner is

unattentive? Just AFTER a breakup? I am considering NC on a new partner, but not sure if it is the best thing......

 

Is NC good to recapture the interest of someone who is taking us for "granted"..but not neccesarily wanting to end things?? How long is NC good for in this instance? I was thinking a month maybe??? Oh and by the way..the sex is AWESOME..hahaha

Thanks!

[DN]

It is a huge mistake to use no contact under the circumstances you describe. Communicate what you need and want and if you don't get it reconsider the relationship. Playing games, which is what you would be doing by going no contact, is a bad idea - it can backfire on you badly.

[Echo]

DN.. I understand and respect your reply. I am not asking this because I intend to play "games".....but to gain to attention of someone I think might

take my affections for granted. Thats all. I want him to see me as special..and NOT someone he has in his "back pocket".....I have learned from past experience that "TOO much too soon" can kill desire. I just want to know if doing NC for a few weeks might prevent this?

[beanpaper]

Just let him initiate contact most of the time and often be too busy with some interesting-sounding activity to do anything with him. If you're sitting around not doing anything on Saturday evening and he calls, don't answer. Only answer if you're out somewhere having fun without him. Get me? He'll learn that if he wants to get on your rotation he has to reserve you in advance and that you're so active, he'd better hurry.

[suprema99]

I think your missing Dn's point. I think if you were to purposly do something (what your asking here) that shows that you are playing games. Your devising a plan to achieve something you want with total disregard for the other. If he catches on, expect a chance he might just do the same thing back to you. If your not happy, then tell him honestly, and if things don't change, then find someone else.

[Kurodashi]

If he doesn't appreciate you "enough" then is it even worth giving him the run around?

Honestly, I know people on this forum throw around "no contact" very loosly, and in alot of circumstances the cure might just as well be to COMMUNICATE.

 

If you want attention and for him to be gratefull, talk to him about it. You go with no contact, itll ruin everything. You may not think its games, but it is.

You snob him off, hell think you dont care about him, when you come back it might be the same but he wont respect you as much for ditching him.

 

It works two ways, how would you feel if he did that to you?