I want to trust my fiancé but find it very difficult

[ukboy]

Hi

 

I've backed myself into a corner here i think.

I've been with my fiancé for 2 and a half years. We live apart but recently she tried to commit suicide Her family and I have been doing our best to help her out and I regularly IM her from work to make sure she's ok (she's off work at the moment).

 

The other day she seemed very quiet, much more than usual, leaving large gaps between her reply. I thought that maybe one of her friends had been in touch and possibly upset her so **stupidly** i logged into her hotmail account. I know i shouldn't have done this but I was burnt very badly in a previous relationship and I admit that I have trust issues. This is the first time I've done this in over 8 months but I was genuinley worried about her.

 

On logging, though, I find an email from a bloke in Australia who'd she had met on that link removed website saying something along the lines of "sure i'll call u what's your number?" from him in reply to my fiancé saying "Hope your ok.Im really sorry that i havent sent this a bit sooner had to wait tilll the house was free. If its ok you can ring me now"

 

Maybe i am jumping to conclusions but if it's something she's hiding from her family and from me.....

 

I feel trapped because I can't confront her without saying that I logged into her account but I can't keep quiet cos it's killing me knowing that she's talking to another bloke who I know fits her "type".

 

I feel extremely guilty for logging into her hotmail but at the same time angry because she's kept this secret

 

Am I an evil boyfriend for doing this?

 

I feel that I am

[OceanEyes]

If she tried committing suicide, I think that you might have bigger problems than some guy in Australia.

 

If her suicide attempt was a 'cry for help', then she is obviously ill and going to attach herself to people who make her feel better about herself.

 

This girl needs help. If you think that people who try to commit suicide are just looking for attention, PM me, because sometimes it's much more than that.

[TRAUMA]

Evil?? Please!...You haven't done any wrong....Reading your significant other's mail is not a crime (in my book)..I speek from experience . Been in your shoes before.. This "privacy" between couples is totally B.S... There should not be ANY secrets in a relationship!.. PERIOD!!...especially in marriage..You can either: 1) Confront her about your findings and be honest...after all you were concerned about her.(and look what you have found)..OR 2) Play dumb and live with the uncertainty. Your suspicion will grow by the day and you will not be able to sleep..because of "privacy"..

Good Luck my friend...NO SECRETS..

[Itsok]

Honestly, after what has happened, I wouldn't think twice about checking her email.

 

Sorry to say, but I'd confront her about it. If she confesses to cheating, leave. Tell her you checked because you wanted to see what's been going through her head. Obviously she has issues expressing herself if she has attempted suicide.

 

In any case, if you find out that she is cheating, don't break it off until you give her family the deal because she'll need their support.

 

Be very careful. This whole thing could get very ugly.