how did you find out

[melanized]

that you weren't straight? i dont know what i am. im guessing im still straight, but i dont know anymore

[Ebowski]

To be honest, I never had an issue with my sexuality. Don't think of yourself as weird. Just because I like something like Fried Chicken doesn't mean you have to like it too.

 

I am not 100% sure if you are a man or a woman, but it you are a man, be careful because it is so easy to spread viruses and such between two men.

[darkblue]

I've never had issues with my sexuality either.

 

I've always been attracted to girls and never to men.

[Cadence308]

Have you tried searching the gay and lesbian forum because there's at least one of these questions posted every week on here. I suggest reading through some of them. I think I have posted some good adivce on the topic.

 

I also know that there are many sites that have information for those struggling with their sexual identity. Perform a google search.

[Bitter_Blasphemy]

i have many gay friends and they all say that they knew since they were little kids that they felt 'differantly' towards members of the same sex. it wasnt until they grew up that they could put the name homosexuality on their feelings.

[Jinx]

If I'm correct, I believe I've read that first and foremost sexuality isn't in stone and is more of a fluid movement of development, but some leaning more towards one end of the spectrum than another. Wish I had a source for where ever I read that, unfortunately I don't at the moment.

 

Moving onto the question at hand. I suppose the main key ideas of lessening any confusion would be to sort out the extent of your thoughts. Whether they are strictly on a lust, infatuation or romantic basis. You see, no matter whom you are with, same or opposite gender the relationship basics remain the same.

 

I mean this in the way of lust doesn't make a long standing relationship. Infatuation eventually wears thin then off. Love and Romance stays strong and hopefully grows without simple wear and tear of the days. So stating, it depends how you imagine yourself and how you truly feel about whom ever is the object of your affectionate thoughts (or otherwise).

 

I, personally for myself had to go through this process. Took my feelings about an individual or individuals and examined them - How deep and true they were. - Were they strong enough to consider a relationship if the chance arised. - Would there be long term possibilites or more likely to wear off once the relationship was established. Once I realized my personal thoughts on each were favorable outside of just my personal desires, I could rule out that it was not just a lustful whim coming out of nowhere, but it was instead my orientation.

 

Last but not least just because I have to

 

be careful because it is so easy to spread viruses and such between two men.

 

There is always the possibility for STD and generalized transmission if one does not take the proper precautions. Whether you're gay or straight. Simple rule of thumb to take your health and yourself into consideration before making any rash decisions about one's sex life.

[amour_13]

I started wondering about my sexuality in the 7th grade; however, I figured it was normal to look at other girls and think oh.. shes hot. We all did... but I wasnt completely sure until my sophomore year.

A friend and I became close and I caught myself checking her out at school every day in class. I was jealous when she talked to guys and everything... (she never knew).

Anyways... last year i finally told her how I felt... and weve been together for 6 months.

My philosophy is to choose if your curiosity is enough to try kissing a person of the same sex. Once you decide that... you will find out.

[Ebowski]

In response to Jinx, there are some clubs around where men just automatically start doing it at a given time. How careful is that. Plus with no risk of pregnancy, it would be easy to bend the cautious rules.

[sizzle2028]

i do men. i can get turned on by women. but at teh end of the day.. i do men... its not hard. if u cant make up ur mind then do both

[goddess23]

hmm sizzle i seem pretty similar. i mean for some reaosn i relaly dont question my sexuality yet i know that at times women can turn me on. but i think almost all women have that little fantasy (its actuall ythe most common fantasy among women, to be with another woman). it doesnt neceassarly mean you're gay. but take your time, i think its about seeing if you're actually attracted to someone of the same sex that you knoww like personally. that would be a bit more of a hint i think

[nothingontheinside]

haha. well. i was in fourth grade, and i fell in love with my best friend, who was a girl. and i knew that being "gay" wasnt bad, because that's how i was raised, and i brought the topic up with my mom a lot when i was younger. (yeah fourth grade) and she was like, "its okay as long as ur not gay" my feelings for the girl grew stronger, and *poof* (yeah like magic) i knew i was gay. that was fourth and fifth grade too! haha.

[Jinx]

In response to Jinx, there are some clubs around where men just automatically start doing it at a given time. How careful is that. Plus with no risk of pregnancy, it would be easy to bend the cautious rules.

 

That is indeed one reason I said one must take their health into consideration before making any rash decisions. Same difference with the pregnancy lacking, if you don't know your partner or situation, you need to be cautious and use proper protection and so forth as need be so that diseases are not passed around. Those standards hold true for anyone.

 

It is their choice to do that if they decide not to take their health into consideration, whether you are straight or not. If you decide not to, you are at risk to transmit, it isn't sexuality limited.

 

Also, this is getting way off topic so if you have anything you'd like to say further to me, I'd be glad to see a PM. I'd rather not clog up this post with comments aside of the original question.

[melanized]

i mean, seeing a girl and thinking that she's pretty is perfectly okay, isn't it?

[nothingontheinside]

of course its okay.

anyway theres nothing not okay about being gay in the first place.

[m0nday]

In response to Jinx, there are some clubs around where men just automatically start doing it at a given time. How careful is that. Plus with no risk of pregnancy, it would be easy to bend the cautious rules.

 

There are also some clubs where straight couples "just automatically start doing it." You are generalizing an entire minority. I'm gay and 95% of the gay guys I know have never been to any of these clubs you describe. And no risk of pregnancy really has nothing to do with it. Sexually transmitted diseases are possible to get whoever you are and the safest rule of thumb is to assume EVERYONE is HIV+ no matter how healthy they look... Sorry for going off topic, but I figure people need to be set straight... er.. (no pun intended) when they start stereotyping.

 

As far as knowing if you are straight or gay, you will know if you find you are fantasizing about having sexual relationships with members of the same sex. When I was coming to terms with being gay, it was a very confusing time. The best thing for you to do is use the internet to try to talk to people who are gay, ask questions, get support. That helped a lot with me coming to terms with it. I remember for a long time I forced myself to believe I was bisexual because I couldn't admit to myself that I was not sexually attracted to women at all... So just be totally honest with yourself. It's tough, but you'll end up better in the longrun...Good luck!

[amour_13]

but i think almost all women have that little fantasy (its actuall ythe most common fantasy among women, to be with another woman).

 

goddess23,

I agree with you. In my opinion (doesnt mean much but still), it is bc women understand other women and we know what we want and need. Men are often not as in tune to our feelings. The hard thing to distinguish, at least it was for me, is whether you just like how other women make you feel... etc., or if you are actually attracted to other women and want to be in a relationship with one. (if that makes sense)

[goddess23]

it does. totally. i mean it is ture though, women have that fantasy to just see what itsl ike. to be honest i think i would try it once....hmmm....mayhbeee lol