Help I don't know what the right thing to do is!!

[nikkers04]

Well I will make a long story short. Kevin and I had been seriously dating for almost two years. March of 2005 he proposed. June of 2005 he desides that he isn't exactly sure what he wants and wants to take a short break. July 2005 we get back together and everything seemed fine. August 2005 he ended it. He tells me he wants so badly for him to be my best friend and he knows that we are meant for each other just the time for us isnt' now. He say the time may not even be this lifetime but I know we are meant for each other sometime. I don't know what to do. I want so badly for us to have one more "night" together before we go our separate ways but I dont know how to make that happen. I want so badly for us to be friends but I dont know how to be his friend because I will just want more. I dont know what to do and its tearing me apart. The morning after we broke up I returned some of the things to his house and I wrote him a letter which told him that I loved him with all my heart and that I should be mad at him for hurting my feelings but I wished him the best of luck and hoped he finds what he is looking for. I want to know what you guys think I should do...whats going to be the best way to get him back? Should I ask him if we can have one more night before we say our finalized good byes? HELP ME PLEASE I"M DESPERATE FOR ADVICE. Anything helps all I have is hope.

[marsho]

well i think u should ring him up and tell him wat u have just said in that post. I think u should give him sometime to work things out too. U don't want to rush him. I know how u feel im going throu the same but im trying to start a relationship and trying tell the signs.

it's hard but u sound like a really strong and beautiful girl, u will get throu this. i hope that has helped

[smallworld]

Hey Nikkers, that's tough. Did Kevin ever say why he ended it? Because I find it interesting he proposed to you in March, but then came to the realization 3 months later that he didn't know what he wanted. Sometimes guys propose because they feel pressured to do so, but they aren't emotionally ready for such a serious commitment. If that's the case there may have been nothing wrong between you two, except for the fact that he wasn't ready to engage in such a serious commitment.

 

Instead of asking for one more "night" which is bound to be painful for you, if it fails to bring him back into your life, I'd ask him for one more heartfelt talk. Try to find out what was really going on his mind all those months and see if you guys can work it out. Be prepared to hear some painful truths. He might just be one of those guys who's not ready to be tied down and who wants to keep dating until he's a little older.

 

If you want to stay friends, you'll probably need to NC each other until the feelings die down and you both have time to heal.

[RayKay]

I don't think "one more night" will change anything - it is bound to make you feel even worse, and I know somewhere in the back of your mind, you hope it will change things...and you will be heartbroken when it does not go as planned.

 

Before he proposed - had you ever talked about marriage, planned together for your future? It does seem strange he would "change his mind" soon after, unless he felt pressured, or perhaps that things had changed since the proposal - had they?

 

It would seem almost he was not even too sure about proposing but did, or maybe once he did, he realized what it really meant, and he was not so sure that it was the right thing.

 

I think if he is open to it, a very good heart to heart talk would be a very good idea...it might be painful, but necessary to find out what is really going on....you might not ever really know, or accept his reasoning however, but it might help clear up some of this "lost feeling" you have, as long as he too can be adult about it and honest.

 

I think due to the emotions and seriousness of the relationship, you two will need some time apart before you can be friends and redefine the relationship...time to heal the open wounds before yoou aim for friendship.

[nikkers04]

Well I did it. I asked him for one more good night of good times...(him holding me) before we said our good byes. He accepted. I so desperatly wanted to call in sick this morning so I didn't have to move from his arms. I guess if a relationship has to go down...I'd want it to end the way it did. We decided to try no contact to see if that will help him regain his feelings...because he said that helped so many times before. I told him that I was fine with that because it is probably best. So i am not to call email or text message him...and all I can do is wait and hope that he finds what he is looking for and comes to find that it is me that he wants. I asked him to be the one to break the no contact since he is the one having issues that way I know when he is ready. So its going to be hard. I dont know what to do...He was the only friend I had and with out him the world seems so dark and cold...>School starts monday and I'm new to this town so I'm excited to meet some new people it just sucks that he won't be around. But if I try to look on the bright side...maybe he isn't around...For now!?!?!?