NEED ADVICE: She Gave Me the "Let's be Friends."

[SomethingCorporate]

A year ago, before I met this girl I am crazy in love with, Abby, my life was so depressing, I wanted to commit suicide and I hated my life, I didn't think there was a reason for living at this point in my life.

 

Then I sat next to a beautiful girl in one of my classes, there was just something about her, I wanted to get to know her, she intrigued me. I made sure I ran into her between classes and that I could talk to her and learn the little things about her, we hung out a few times at the movies and stuff and I was falling for her...my life, my world was getting brighter...soon we spent lots of time together, I told her some things I couldn't tell anyone else and she was amazing.

 

I decided I had to take things a step forward, I was in love with this girl, I told her one day, we were at The Coffee Bean and I told her she was beautiful in every way and that she was the most amazing girl I've ever met and then I told her I loved her. She has this shocked face, one of those faces where she didn't know what to say, she asked me if it was an I love you in a friend way or more than friends way and I told her I wanted to be with her and see where this could take us, and she gave me the "I see you as a friend."

 

I didn't think it would hurt so much, everytime I hang out with her I can't help but stare, she just acts like I never told her. I respect how she feels, but I'm seriously heart broken right now, I cry myself to sleep thinking she's the greatest thing to come along and she was my reason for living and she sees me as a friend.

 

I'm confused and I don't know what I'm feeling, I don't know what to do. Advice needed.

[melrich]

It is very hard to maintain a relationship with someone when you want more than they want to give.

 

Maybe for your own sake you should back off the friendship a bit. Give things a bit of space. No doubt she has not forgotten what you said to her but is probably just trying to ignore it and sort of hope it does not come up again.

[heloladies21]

I had a couple of friends who went through something like this. Don't be like them and keep hanging on like a friend cause she will never make you her boyfriend this way. She will just keep you as a friend cause she doesn't want to ruin the "wonderful" friendship you two have developed. Tell her you only want her as more than a friend and if she doesn't bite, then cut all contact with her. You're here to make yourself happy #1 and never forget that, especially if she's not willing to reciprocate your feelings.

 

You need to start talking to lots of other girls. Be sure that if you look hard, you will find someone just like her or even better and who will also show you the love you deserve.

[MetallicAguy]

then cut all contact with her. You're here to make yourself happy #1 and never forget that, especially if she's not willing to reciprocate your feelings.

Heloladies21 is right. You have to stop hanging out with this girl for a while until she changes and if she doesn't you have to forget about her. So when you stop hanging out with her and she calls you or something and asks what's wrong say something like "It's too hard on me for us to hang out knowing you don't have the same feelings for me". After you say that, just let your feelings for her go. And eventually, when you heal from it you can find another girl maybe.

[Markers]

and never ever confess your feelings to a girl like that again. It will freak even a girl that likes you out..

 

instead, be cool and just ask people out and flirt them if you're friends with them. That way it won't get that bad.

 

Also, I'm in a bit similar situation as you, only that I didn't confess my feelings so open, just asked her out. I'm tempted to tell you to get a grip, and stop "crying yourself to sleep" every night.. tell yourself, there's plenty of fish in the sea, you're so cool guy that it's her loss if she doesn't want to be with you etc. so many times you start believing into it. Put her down from pedestal, face the fact that you have just a crush to her, and she's nothing more than a casual girl. Nothing more.

[asdf]

i think the situation with the girl really is secondary to the way you live your life. you mentioned thinking about suicide and being so depressed. to be honest, your situation with girls isn't going to change until you change. very few girls go for the constantly depressed guy.