Just been dumped by my girlfriend

[saltwatergirl]

Things like this really hurt. I know very well all the confusion, questions, going over in your head what this or that meant . Wondering if it was all just a big fake that you thought was real. Wondering how in the world you could have been so misled. Missing the part of you that actually believed in them. Missing the security you once felt while dealing with the shocking revelations you now have in front of your own eyes.

 

It's hard to let go even if we know it is for the best. I hope you feel better soon.

 

Salt

[patience]

if you really want to meet with her, and you are sure of this, call her and you set the day and time, if she is truly interested, she will say yes and she will show up...make sure she commits to a 'yes' though...if she says "I'll think about and text/call you" that is NOT good enough for your well-being at this point...ask her to bring your papers...if she says yes to meeting, and then doesn't show up...then I suggest texting her telling her that you want your papers returned to you, sned her a self-addressed stamped envelope so she has NO excuse for not sending them to you

 

don't wait for her to text you...take some power back and contact her if you want to see her...don't text, pick up the phone and call...if there is no answer, don't leave a message...call later...make sure you get her on the phone...the tone in her voice will say a lot

 

hand in there, stay strong, and keep us posted

[corinne714]

I'm new to this forum. And I saw this post and it's exactly how I feel. I recently was dumped by my college boyfriend. We started out as friends and we talked to one another about anything. And we eventually started dating. I loved spending time with him and I thought he felt the same way. I never for once thought that he was having second thoughts about our relationship. I was one of the first girls he ever seriously dated. And I even brought that up before school let out in may and talked to him about it and he said that he didn't want to date other people. So I left school thinking we were great. How wrong I was. Well things seemed to be going great I even drove to visit him in detroit, I live in southern ohio. It was a 5 hour drive. We were together there and everything was amazing. I had no reason to think anything was wrong. Then 5 days after I visited he broke up with me, over the internet. I was devastated. I loved him. I mean how can some be so warm and close to you and then the next second be like I don't see us long term. All I wanted to do was cry. Worst part about it was that he wants us to stay good friends. I want to be close with him. But I don't think I can handle just being his friend. Going from a lover and serious girlfriend to just one of his friends. I mean we still talk online, but I don't have to see his face and know that we can't be together. We have to stay friends or at least civil to one another because we have all the same friends. And we don't want it to be awkward. I guess I really don't have any good advice for you. Other than I know what you're going through. And I know how exactly how you feel, how you can't help but think there's still a chance for your relationship. Because you can't really see a real reason why it ended and why you're not together with that person.

[barryboy]

just received a message from my ex(it feels hard sayin that). She said sorry ive taken so long to get back to you, i dont think i will be able to meet before you go on holiday cos im doing a lot of over time! she also said would it be alright to meet when we come back?. I dont know what to do. I would feel a lot better by now, a week and a half after she dumped me if she hadnt got in touch with me at all! Why would she txt me sayin she wanted to meet and then change her mind? I just feel that if i dont meet her then before i go then we will never be how we were, ever again. As friends i mean! I replied sayin, that it would have made things a lot easier for me going on holiday with peace of mind knowing that we could continue our friendship and that i surely deserve an hour or so, if i meant anything to her at all! thoughts anyone? thanks in advance!

[patience]

has she responded to your text yet?

[barryboy]

not yet, but she said that shes working 12-8, everyday this week! she normally does 3-8, so she will be at work just now! i just feel, patience that if i dont meet her then everything will be swept under the carpet when i next see her in 3 or 4 weeks time! what do u suggest? i can see her not replyin actually, until friday nite, sayin have a nice holiday meaning thereforeeee itl be 2 late to see her!

[patience]

I know that 3 or 4 weeks apart from a good friend wouldn't change my feelings for that friend. I have spent years separated from good friends, and then reconnected later, and they still wanted me in their lives. Also, true "in love" feelings don't just go away...as all of us recovering from a break-up are well aware of.

 

When you do reconnect after holiday, either mutual feelings will be there, or they won't be there. There is nothing you can do to change her feelings. She wants what she wants. Hopefully she will reply tonite...that would be the polite thing to do.

 

*breathe* and try not to worry so much...if she really does value your friendship, she won't toss you away

 

this time apart may be really helpful to you actually....you'll have the time and space to focus on yourself...when the month is up, it may actually be you who doesn't want to see her, you may be the one to say, you know what, this friendship isn't good for me and I deserve better

 

*chin up* buddy...you're stronger than you think!

[barryboy]

she has since replied sayin, its not that she doesnt want to see me, and that i should know that she cared for me, its just she doesnt have time to go for a drink or anything. but she said she definetly wants to meet to remove any akwardness. i dunno, i would be happy to meet her before i go away just to get sum answers, as i feel that if i dont get them b4 i go then i wont when we get back! confused!

[patience]

its just she doesnt have time to go for a drink or anything

 

I think that's a lie. She doesn't want to meet with you. Think of it this way, is there anything that would stop you from meeting with someone you wanted to talk with? No, right? She's making excuses. People always have time for what they really want. IMO she doesn't want to face you.

 

If you REALLY want to talk to her, just call her. If she won't even talk on the phone, then seriously I think it's time to let this 'friend' go.

[barryboy]

i said that to her, that its obvious that i cared for her more than she did me if she cant even do me the decency of meetin me! it was her that suggested meetin in the first place! im actually runnin out of time to meet her as i leave for spain in the early hours of saturday morning, so i might just phone her. i will be difficult tho, if i was too hear or see her i dunno if that would put me on a downer for my holidays! i could always just leave seeing her till i come back, hopefully tanned, refreshed and over her. Then she may see whats shes missing at this party weve both to go the week we get back!! thats the plan anyways!

[abcforme]

I have experienced the same exact thing! The only thing i can tell you is dont play games. It is the worst thing you can do. Take some time for yourself and hang out with friends. Show her that you can have fun without her. I really really understand how you feel. I seriously felt sick to my stomach for a week. The wost thing to do is to try and figure out what you did wrong, but dont assume you were 100% correct in the relationship either. When and if she wants to meet you do it in person! The hardest thing is to say "it's over" to the person you have feelings for. Not to metion that you can really show your emotions much better. I know this is hard to understand and most likly you never will. You just need to give her time. The worst thing you can do is repeativly crawl back to her like a love sick puppy. If she does not want to be with you, try and move on. She will never come back when your waiting! If she doesnt come back, and this is a possibility, then it means that you two just wernt ment for eachother. Dont force it! Be patient and hang out with your friends. I wish I could give you better advice, but honestly no one understands women - not even themselves.

[barryboy]

Well, thats me just back from my holiday. Still think about her everyday, it still hurts! If times a healer then i guess im just going to have to wait ages to feel better, cos thats nearly a month now, since i got dumped! I really thought that by going on holiday and having fun, which i did have, would have made me be over her, but i cant get her out of my head at all! its startin to annoy me, as there is nothin i can do about it! any suggestions? thanks in advance!