help..i am dying inside

[loss4words]

My husband and I have been married just under 3 years. We are a young couple. The spark died. Off and on we have been working on. Haven't told anyone. Well, we talked about it last Friday, decided to take time apart. Maybe a week- a revitalization. Tuesday he calls and wants to talk. He doesn't feel the same and we talked about divorce. We would sleep on it and talk on Wednesday. He doesn't feel the same, doesn't want to hurt me, doesn't feel it is fair for me to love him more than I love him. He already talked to an attorney on Tuesday who already drew up the papers. I signed them in haste. I don't want a divorce. I want to work at this more, but he doesn't. I am dying. He is my soulmate and I cannot live without him.

[brando]

Im sorry you are going through this right now, but in the long run, it may be the best decision for both of you.

 

I am recently divorced, my ex wife wanted it, and i was blind sided. Well i was blind. It is nearly a year now and i have definitely come a long way.

 

A friend told me once that it did not matter what i wanted in that relationship, it was what she wanted and their wasnt much for me to do about it but accept it. I also read somewhere that it doesnt matter what the dumpee feels, it is all about what the dumper feels, and if he is saying he feels differently, or not the same, then i feel you did the right thing by signing the papers.

 

Do you honrstly want to be with someone who no longer wants to be with you, at least in the same capacity???? This is a difficult question for you to answer honestly, i know because i faced myself with this question for some time before i was honest enough with myself to answer.

 

I was also married for three short years, (was with her for ten), but the bright side is that now you can move on and meet the someone who will love you equally..

 

be well,

 

Brando

[precious_babae]

You are just scared to be alone, scared of change. You are so used to him liek you are used to a daily routine. He was always there and it will be different for him not to be. But maybe it will be better off, it will hurt, but you're strong and you'll be okay. Just hang in there, good luck, and my prayers are with you!

[brando]

Yeah precious has a point. Even when my ex and i were at or worse with eachother, i always liked it when she came to bed... (not sex)... just the prsense of another body... funny how i got so accustomed to the presense of her, even when i felt i didnt like her all that much. I think that is the biggest hurdle after a divorce or breakup with someone you live with.

[jevonj77]

Wow what did you think marriage was when you got married...

 

the initial feeling of romance usually dies down around this time...just three years...for several reasons...if you think getting a divorce will solve this problem you will soon find out that the next divorce...opps I meant marriage will end up in the same way...

 

you two are people not some robots...it doesn't always go the best...great...try new things change up the routine allow yourselves to be borring once in awhile this is great and is a part of life...

 

If you are thinking that you need to be constantly in a state of nirvanah...well maybe some weed would help out...Ok I am only kidding here...

 

but you need to realize and except your short comings as people...this is part of marriage...

 

Usually people get divorced because on of the two partners has cheated or has abused the other partner in some way or the other...this one right here is just ...well I think you know right now...convenient