friends w/ benifits

[eagles04]

how do u feel bout friends w/ benifits.

should both members let their other pals know whats going on.

well for me my guy pal dont want his pals ta know bout me and him being friends w/ benifits, but i do. if his pals knows , he said that they will dis respect him, for doing things w/ me. i hate it. i only can hang w/ cirtain pals of his cause these two dont care if i hang w/ them. but his other pals dont want anything ta do w/ me.

 

i just dont know what to do. need help w/ this.

[Ddog187]

Maybe he is ashamed of it so he does not want those pals know about it. Like those might be good friends or what ever but he might not want them to get the wrong view of him do you know what I mean? Also things for you to do I would say just sit down and talk to him about it and ask him why he does not want his other pals or friends to know about you to. I hoped this help maybe someone else can put it into better terms.

[RayKay]

Well, I am not fond of the whole friends with benefits thing anyway, due to certain complications, and think that often it ends up being far more trouble than its worth.

 

Are you happy just being FWB?

 

Anyway, I don't think there is any requirement to tell anyone what is going on...it's private and not everyone's business, so he is in his right to not tell everyone, just as it is your right not to tell everyone. A FWB is not a "romantic relationship" persay that is "out there" for everyone to see. Often the intent of a FWB is also not to prevent them from meeting others, so it is not held out there as a relationship.

 

I think it depends on the people involved and their expectations.

 

I still think even though he does not have to tell his friends, telling you he won't because they won't respect him for being with you is really disrespectful on his side..he could of at least said he respected you and did not thereforeeee want everyone to know your intimate life. This guy does not sound like fantastic material anyway if he hides you from his friends, and to me would be a good indicator to start walking away. His friends might not respect him for his actions, but it is rather disrespectful of him as well to tell you basically that he needs to hide the relationship from his friends as they won't respect him for being with you.

[eagles04]

i know he is ashamed. his friends dont think iam kool ta hang out. i try not ta push him on this. i want him to let me know when he is ready. he tells me every thing. some stuff that he tells me, his other friends dont know some of it. so in order ta hide the stuff that he does w/ me he tell them that iam like his little sis.

[RayKay]

i know he is ashamed. his friends dont think iam kool ta hang out. i try not ta push him on this. i want him to let me know when he is ready. he tells me every thing. some stuff that he tells me, his other friends dont know some of it. so in order ta hide the stuff that he does w/ me he tell them that iam like his little sis.

 

Personally I think you should respect yourself more, and not be with someone who is not proud enough of you to show you off to the world!

I am sure you have a great thing going when you are alone together and he is very sweet and everything, but I think that this relationship can be very emotionally destructive to you if you feel like a "hidden secret" from everyone.

[annie24]

Ditto to what raykay said. Even though being FWB means you can keep your private life private, I too think what he said was really disrespectful. It sounds like he's just worried about what his friends will say or think. It's not a healthy relationship. If he's really your friend and he likes spending time with you, then he wouldn't mind people seeing you two hanging out together.

 

FWB won't work if someone has romantic feelings towards the other. If you're going into this hoping he will be your boyfriend one day, you may be waiting forever. FWB is just basically fooling around until one person finds someone they like better. Which is fine if all you're looking for is sex, but if he told you one day that he met a new girl and he really likes her, and he's done with you, would you feel hurt? Just some stuff to think about...