My ex still wants me a year later, I want him to move on!!

[Lily04]

Ok thanks for the advice. I deleted the original message just because I feel a bit awkward posting his e-mails on this... just in case he checks the board or happens to come accross it...

 

Thus far, however, I haven't received a reply from him, and he never called me or tried to bump into me, so I'm hoping he's handling it well and will finally move on. It's a good sign anyway. =)

 

Thanks again,

 

Lily

[Lily04]

p.s. GUYS -- if you got this message from an ex-gf what would you think? Would you get the point, or still try to contact her?! I don't know how to get it through to him anymore.

 

edit: now that I think about it (I never even re-read that msg. before I sent it, I was so pissed), I should have said "I received fine closure after I broke up WITH YOU."

 

I mean god, why would I need closure when *I* broke up with *him*? And I told him I was dating someone then too. I mean, does he honestly think I wouldn't move on? And we dated for 2 months!!!

 

He's so self-centered, it's absolutely unbelievable. I just feel like hitting something (ideally him.)

[The_Doc]

Heh

 

Why are you so mad about this? There seems no need to be?

 

Look you obviously meant much more to him than you realised -- especially if this guy hasn't much experience of dating.. he obviously took the break up quite badly and has fond and idealised memories about it.

 

I think your message is crystal clear and most guys would accept this as a final answer -- so no need to kick the guy unnecessarily. Come on he is hardly stalking you, you have heard nothing from him for 7 months... its summer, you met in summer, he is feeling lonely.

 

If he replies or tries to contact you again just ignore him, keep him blocked etc and he WILL get the message.

 

Don't be cruel unless he starts doing crazy things....

[bobster]

Hey Lily, yeah I'd be inclined to go with what the doc said above.....

 

This guy is obviously a tad hurt at when you broke up with him and thereforeee might just be feeling a bit of slight emotional revenge coming on....as in when he is trying to say that it was his decision to end the dating.

 

Your reply was good. Leave him alone, don't respond and if he is anyway normal he'll get the message or he will in time.

 

Don't show your anger at him, he may just be waiting for it and this may only give him satisfaction.

 

Keep cool.

[Lily04]

Thanks for the advice guys.

 

I guess I was a bit upset since I knew this would happen. I know the way he thinks. He's very insecure and unfortunately a bit self-delusional (i.e. he'll say that he has a lot more friends than he has, lies about the university he attends to make himself feel better, etc.) Anyway, I knew the breakup was really hard for him, but I suspected the way he would deal with it would be that he would tell himself that I only broke up with him because of the distance (not the fact that I didn't like him anymore), and so he thought he can get me back when summer rolls around, when he's back in the country. I got this from some of the things he said in his e-mails, and just from knowing his personality.

 

In one of the last e-mails he wrote to me though, he said that I was the perfect girl for him, and if any guy doesn't treat me right he would be more than happy to date me again. He also said that he knows I'm "the one" for him, and won't let me go. Or something along those lines. That's what sorta stuck with me, and I got a bit worried... when he e-mailed me again a week before Christmas saying he understands it must be hard to deal with "the distance" and if I want to meet him at his house to "just talk things over" or something like that, I was a bit worried he wasn't accepting it... I then said that I've started dating someone else, so I'm really ready to move on... and then he prodded me about who I was dating, if it was some guy he knew that he suspected liked me, etc...

 

 

ANYWAY, sorry, I really have to learn to condense my posts. But I'm almost 100% sure that he's going to try to meet me in school this summer. He'll ask what classes I'm taking from my friends, and then try to bump into me after class or something. I'm going to just act really distant and hope he gets the message, but it just bugs me that he won't move on. I was obsessed with a crush for a while so I know how he feels, but after a few months I moved on and stopped liking him. I just wish he would do the same now. Especially since he's deluding himself into thinking he was the one that broke up with me, and it was only "the distance" that caused the breakup, etc...