I'm not moving in... Now what do I do???

[misery12]

Seems to me that he's the only problem in the relationship, and that if you were alone, you'd find it much more easy to cope with.

This man seriously has issues, and it doesn't seem like they're to do with you. Maybe he is stressed out about something outside of your relationship, and whenever you do something the slightest annoying, he blows up at you.

 

You need to have a serious talk with him, and let him know what he's doing wrong. The best thing to do, is catch him in the act. Wait until he's yelling at you, or mocking you for no reason.. and then ask "why are you doing this, I don't do this to you".

 

Then just get up and walk away. This will get him thinking.. do not contact him for a few days, let it marinate.. tell him the only way you'll stay with him, is if he takes time to change his ways, otherwise you're out.

[guapa]

hey misery12,

 

i've already broken up with him. i mean, this has been going on for a long while and he doesn't admit he has issues. he thinks that i just exaggerate things.

 

it's so weird, he calls me every day to hang out and says he loves me, etc., etc. but then when we hang out he never treats me like he loves me. does one go by the words or the actions? I say the actions! After all, it IS the small things that count as well as the big things. The small things is how you show respect and love...

 

probably we aren't going to talk anymore. if he does contact me later, like after i have some time for myself, then i will talk to him as a friend. after all, i do love him as a person and do want him to get better, but i will only talk to him if he recognizes he has a problem for real.

[Hope75]

Always read the actions. It's easy to say words, the real work is following through with actions.

 

He has alot of issues he needs to work on and you have some healing to do before I would ever consider a friendship, if at all.

 

Best of luck and stay strong! Don't let this guy pull this garbage on you anymore.

[guapa]

Thank you... He wrote me this super long email this morning talking about how much he loves me. And I wrote him a long email detailing all of the ways he has been unsupportive and mean.

 

It's so true. I do need to heal. And that's why I couldn't be with him anymore. Even when he apologized, I couldn't trust him and still felt upset about everything.

 

It really is very sad, I know that inside he is a confused person who now feels lots of pain. But it's good for him... maybe he will learn something, and I am learning something too!!

[Hope75]

Good for you Guapa,

 

You know that he could apologize till the cows come home and it means nothing because he has proven to you over and over with his actions that he doesn't respect you and doesn't love you.

 

It's easy to say those words, but his lousy behaviour lets his true colours show through.

 

Best of luck getting on with your life, and good for you for not allowing yourself to be treated in a substandard way by this creep.