older woman with younger man

[cindy_h45891]

I am just getting divorced and a younger man is very interested in me. Iam 54 and he is 38. I could fall in love and so could he but worry about 20 years from now. Any one have any views. I am in very good health and active NOW.

[overcorrect]

Funny, I just posted a reply for a male that was 40 and a female that was 24... 16 years again. Now, at 24 I don't believe that the girl was mature enough to make a decision to get in a relationship with an older man. Now, I think it's rather different if she had be 38. At 38 I believe that both males and females have been fully developed emotionally for quite a long time. At 38 they are well into adulthood and know what they want without guestion. If I was 38 (I'm 33 now) and I wanted to be with a woman who was older than me and it was what I REALLLLY wanted, I wouldn't once consider her age as a factor. If he can't stand to be without you and you can't stand to be without him, take it to the next level.

[cindy_h45891]

THanks for the insight, I don't see much about the younger man with older woman- I think it is even harder for people to deal with than when the woman is younger- My main concern was with when were are 10-20 years down the road. I don't want to go through the same heartache I am now.

[jacko1607306438]

I met with a 10 YEARS older woman over internet. Its been over 2 years we have been together and living together. When we first started she made some promises to me about her weight problem. However once i moved to her house she has totally changed. She has threaten me many time. lying to me, and i am still trying to be tolerant and motivating her to fix her weight problem but she is not doing what she suppose to do and coming me and complaining about me all the time. I truly started to believe inside she is not the right person for me. She is very wishy washy and unreliable. I feel like i did so much for her and response was threats, fights and disappointments. She did everything possible to make me feel distant to her. I am not feeling close to her. But she is obsest with me badly. She is pyscho at least thats what i think. And i dont wanna waste my time anymore. She even doesnt wants me tow watch movies where if there is any nice looking female artist in the movie, or she gets so upset and physically hurts me or she gets so angry even if i have nice looking female friends. She doesnt get the fact that people can have nice looking girl friends and not be special, but she doesnt understand that. And always suffocates me and threatens me. This woman needs serious help, she is insecure and extremely jealous. She has some issues with herself. Her family sent her to shelter house when she was kid. To be honest i dont want to end up with somebody like her. This relationship just makes me thinking of dieing all the time. I am so smothered. Please help me how can i stop this mess and move on and start fresh life. And leave this mess back. bECAUSE WHEN I SAY I WANNA GO SHE STARTS THREATENS ME and physically hurts me. She is so full herself, and thinks she is the best woman in the world. Please i desperately need some advice!!!!!

[queen_rocks]

To be honest, I view that older women know what they want! But in most cases, older women can become more dominant in the relationship allowing the male to be sexually mature and, to a certain degree, be slightly immature. But despite the Americans and Japaneze making the acceptance of the older man and younger women relationship, society has failed to support the idea of older women courting and mating with younger men. However, I suggest that you ignore all of that and get on and have a decent relationship with him. Besides, it's his choice too to have a relationship with an older women and let's face it, you only live once!

[Enigmatic]

Funny, I just posted a reply for a male that was 40 and a female that was 24... 16 years again. Now, at 24 I don't believe that the girl was mature enough to make a decision to get in a relationship with an older man. Now, I think it's rather different if she had be 38. At 38 I believe that both males and females have been fully developed emotionally for quite a long time. At 38 they are well into adulthood and know what they want without guestion. If I was 38 (I'm 33 now) and I wanted to be with a woman who was older than me and it was what I REALLLLY wanted, I wouldn't once consider her age as a factor. If he can't stand to be without you and you can't stand to be without him, take it to the next level.

 

I honestly cannot see how one value makes you happy and another doesn't?!?!

 

I knew I wanted to program computers when I was 5 years old and now I am a computer contractor who went straight from school to uni and straight into a computer job that I have loved ever since....

 

Are you saying that as a 5 year old there is no way I knew what I really wanted?

 

The fact is that every human being is different, we all have different experience, different events and milestones in our life that influence who we are as people and how we progress. Now it may be true that in general the older a person is the more wisdom they have... but it isn't FACT and it certainly isn't something you can simply draw a line in the sand and say "24 = don't have a clue, 38 = have every clue".

 

I know 34 year olds that have less worldly knowledge and experience than some 16 year olds I know... and I know someone 20-something people who have the wealth of wisdom, knowledge and experience of people well into their 80's....

 

You simply cannot say with any sense of being definate that at 24 they cannot possibly know what they want and what it involves... but somehow those "magical" 14 years between 24 and 38 they gain this knowledge. Or are you saying "something" happens to a person between the age of 24 and 38 that happens to them at no other time in their lives and that until this "magical" thing happens they will not be able to make decisions for themselves?

 

Bottom line is that age is a "potential"... it isn't an "absolute", you have to factor in the person and to make judgements based purely on a number without any consideration to who that number is attached to is seriously unwise (and funny enough, those who make the most unwise of decisions are those who are OLDER).

[millionaire_bek85]

jacko, I think you really need to leave this woman any way you can. She is asking for it and there is no excuse for physical abuse either. She needs to see a counseller and you need to get away. You don't even owe her an explanation, she needs to sort out her own issues before she gets involved with people.