how long has it taken you to get over an ex?

[offshore]

hey, My ex broke up with me three months ago in a pretty mean way, we'd been together for more than two years. Was the first love for both of us. Im 23, she is 19. It nailed me pretty hard for the first month, but the second month I felt I was gradually getting better, surfing heaps, goin to yoga and chillin out, enjoying my own company again, But the last week has been heavy as and I dont know why. Started to really put myself down at times and believing that no1 will ever be interested in me again. Feels like I'm back to square 1. I havent contacted her since we broke up, or heard anything of her, so why am I suddenly feeling bad again? Just wondering if any1 has any advice and also if any1 can tell me how long it has taken them to get over an ex?

[av82]

Well if you don't mind...what was the break up over and why? Just to better understand the situation.

[heloladies21]

Sometimes it takes a long time. Sometimes it can be right away. And sometimes you take a few steps back. You'll find someone new, just try a little harder at picking girls up. You probably don't hit on enough girls. This might be the real problem we (you and me) should be trying to solve.

[shes2smart]

I havent contacted her since we broke up, or heard anything of her, so why am I suddenly feeling bad again? Just wondering if any1 has any advice and also if any1 can tell me how long it has taken them to get over an ex?

 

Because emotional healing is not a linear process. Somedays are good, somedays not so good, and sometimes it'll feel like you haven't made any progress. Just stick with it. If you feel sad, acknowledge it, express it, and be kind to yourself. It will pass.

 

As for getting over exes...longest I took was a little over a year...shortest was a little over a month. The more break-ups I'd gone through the less time it took to get over them -- even if the relationship was of long duration and/or intensity. I think it has to do with increasing familiarity with the process of breaking up/separating. You learn how to take care of yourself better with each successive split (at least I did), and you also learn that life goes on and you will go on to other (better) relationships.

[offshore]

WE started going out when she was 17, we had a really close relationship, spent all of our free time together. She never went out with her friends much (didnt want to/ didnt enjoy going out) and i think she began to feel like she had missed out and maybe was gradually starting to wonder what else was out there. She changed a lot during our relationship, which is probably to be expected at her age, and I think she was just after something new. I know she has changed a lot in the last 6 months, shes not someone I would want to be with anymore, shes recently got a modelling job part time and even before that she was getting really concerned with appearances and starting to get a bit up herself. She was becoming very cold hearted. I dont know how to explain the whole relationship/breakup, guess she just got bored with me and went after some metrosexual, pink shirt wearing pretty boy. She told me she was with some1 a week after we broke up and I've since been told that there was a fair chance she was cheating on me for a bit before we broke up. Its easy to let go of the person she has become, but hard to forget the beautiful girl she once was.

[heloladies21]

Yeah, but every time you remember that beautiful girl, think of how it was all a lie.

[Hope75]

My longest recovery period was a little over a year, with someone I was with for 2 years.

 

It really depends on the person, how they handle it, and how they let it effect them.

 

As shes2smart has said, it is not a constant level of better, better, better. Some days are worse than others, and that's OK. You just have to keep going and the next day you hope will be better.

[greenowl88]

I was with my ex for only about 5 months and it took me about 7 months to get over him. I was really only totally over him until I met my current boyfriend which blew my ex out of the water!!!

[offshore]

Thanx for all your replies, I'll just take it as it comes, helps to know there are other people out there that have gone through the same thing. Even if they are on the other side of mother earth! Thanx heaps, offshore.

[moonunit]

First month was tough, second was getting better, the third month I had a relapse.

 

yeah i'm in the same boat right now myself. im starting to think this is normal. it sucks but it's normal.