How to learn to love someone?

[kamurj]

How to learn to love someone?

[Cherylyn]

It takes time to love someone.  Love is built upon trust and respect.  Those key components are required to learn to love someone. 

[Batya33]

You learn to show love even when it’s tough. This takes humility.  That’s the learning. I don’t think you stay with someone because you plan to “learn to love him “

[Cherylyn]

17 hours ago, Batya33 said:

You learn to show love even when it’s tough. This takes humility.  That’s the learning. I don’t think you stay with someone because you plan to “learn to love him “

In other relationships, not necessarily a spouse, I've learned to love some people based upon a new set of rules for me in order to care to love them. 

If I've been burned unjustly, I no longer learn to love that person by starting all over; beginning with my  past groveling.  (I know you weren't referring to this.) 

If there's lack of emotional intelligence and feelings and actions are not mutual, I lose my desire instantly.

I've learned to love again by readjusting myself and not expecting changes from others.  I change my attitude, ways and habits literally overnight.  Sure, I can still love again as long as I'm in the driver's seat.  We play by my rules from now on.  I'm on MY terms.  I determine what I'm willing to give of myself and to what extent I'm willing to care to put forth any efforts.  It's how I heal and enforced, healthy boundaries reign supreme. 

I can very much learn to love again as long as I know how to remain safe and never revert to my former naivete with some people.  It works for me.  Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me.