sunflower Posted June 17, 2003 Share Posted June 17, 2003 I been with my bf for 2 years. Im 23 hes 20. 2 months ago we broke up. I didnt feel he was going anywhere in his life. I wanted him to get himself together before ready to be in a relationship. FOR HIMSELF not for me. So a few days ago we got back together. Hes doing very well now, Im very proud of him and I missed my bestest friend in the whole world. However I am not sure about things still. I still love and care about him to death but the other day we were going to have sex and for some reason I was afraid and awkward to. I told him I needed more time. I have all these thoughts in my head. Am I not attracted to him anymore? Am I not in love with him anymore? But when I am with him Im very happy and when I look at him I think hes a big cutie. I feel I have to make a choice asap because I don't want to lead him on and I dot want to hurt him. But I dont know if what I am feeling is normal? Or not...Help Link to comment
Pengui6668 Posted June 17, 2003 Share Posted June 17, 2003 why are you asking us? Are you still attracted to him? Does he still make you want to have sex? do you long for him when he's not around? it's pretty obvious if you're attracted to someone or not... Link to comment
StillLoveHer Posted June 17, 2003 Share Posted June 17, 2003 I know how ya feel.. Your scared on the inside.. Your not sure if he wants you.. If ya still feel that way after sex then you will know for sure you don't love him.. Link to comment
caliboy Posted June 17, 2003 Share Posted June 17, 2003 is it a matter of not wanting to have sex with him or anyone? do you have urges to be with anyone else or are you intimate with anyone else? cause if so, then maybe you're just not attracted to him anymore. if not, then maybe you don't want to be intimate with anyone? Link to comment
reborn Posted June 17, 2003 Share Posted June 17, 2003 Hi sunflower, I answer one of your other posts before. Thanks for the mail you sent me. It was really helpfull. I read and reread it when I think I am going crazy and it helps me out and calms me down. Well, my boyfriends acts a lot like you. So, when you figure it out, please let me know what the heck is happening inside of you. He is attracted to me, gets really happy when he sees me, we laugh a lot when we are together, he likes me as a person, gets an erection when I am too close, feels desire to have sex with me, but feels bad to persue anything because he thinks I want to fall in love and he doesn´t plus though he feels this, and wants to keep hanging out with me when he sees me, says he loves me as a daughter, or a family ( i am 3 years older than him by the way. So, honey, please, please, please keep me posted as to what you feel. How would you like your ex to act for you to balance more to the loving feelings and not to the fear. I am in his place. Help me out sunflower. Thanks hon. Link to comment
sunflower Posted June 18, 2003 Author Share Posted June 18, 2003 Well to answer caliboy, yes I feel major urges to be with people. And him! I have dreams about sex with him all the time! But I realized that we've been through A LOT. my feelings have been on a roller coaster ride for the past WHILE and I really need to RELAX and go vbery slow with him. He seems very KEEN on this relationship. He told me he will wait for me while I am in Europe and he will want to settle down when I get back. Like move in together. he said I was the only girl for him etc....those things kind of scare me becvause hes so young and I am the only girl hes ever had sex with. When he says things like that I just sort of hug him and kiss him on the forehead. I want to go with the flow because YOU NEVER KNOW what can happen. These type of things are very sketchy. All you can do is relax not think too far ahead and take it one day at a time and wherever you go is where your meant to be. Now, reborn, I have my reasons for acting the way I do. My bf has lied to me a lot in the past over stupid things. And the trust is beginning to slowly come back. But I feel I cant have sex with someone I dont fully trust. So that is why I am hesitating right now. As much as I feel the urge I can't. I get scared. And I explained this to him and he seemed to understand. One thing I am very greatful is he treats me with the uttermost respect. How old are you and how old is he? Age does matter as well. If he is afraid you are going to fall in love and he "doesnt" and thats whats stopping him then I suggest you talk things through with him and tell him your intentions and ask his. Because the worst is being in a relationship that you think is going to go somewhere and really the other person is just having fun. Communication is the BEST KEY to keep a relationship LOCKED and STRONG. Hope this helps! Link to comment
sunflower Posted June 20, 2003 Author Share Posted June 20, 2003 I had a panic attack last night with my bf. I freaked out and I dont know why..about our whole relationship. Im scared of going back in the same routine and getting horribly hurt again.(we broke up for 2 months and now we're back together) I dont know what to do..I really need a lot of help. I came close to ending it with him but then I freaked because today Im startying a really stressful job and I felt I needed him by my side to help me through it. But I cant be with him only befcause of that. And thats what scaring me. During our break up my independance was slowly coming back and now I feel it slowly slipping away....I mustnt let that happen otherwise Im set to get really hurt again. I dont know what to do...I love him..and hes so good to me. help... Link to comment
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