UGH1607307217 Posted May 21, 2005 Share Posted May 21, 2005 OK, Im confused... After all of my recent heartache and my 8 month long healing period, Ive started meeting new guys through a couple of popular sites. Here is what Im so confused about and I could probably use a guys opinion... I got an email through one of the sites that I am a member of from what seems like a very nice guy, sweet, sincere, European (its my understanding that the Europeans have a different outlook on dating, how to treat a woman etc.) anyway, thats beside the point. So I get an email oh about 10 days 2 weeks ago and this guy and I start chatting on AOL after 1 or 2 emails, we progressed to talking on the phone starting this past weekend and we made plans to meet tonight...I told him to pick where and he picked a BEAUTIFUL restaurant, told me what time. Now here is the thing...up until Thursday, we chatted everyday, talked on the phone everyday since the first call, I thought we were hitting it off. Now since Thursday Ive barely talked to him. I havent gotten a confirmation of our meeting, I have tried to call him but he hasnt answered. For the guys, any insight into a mans brain as to what happened? Im an attractive woman, I have a great sense of humor, Im sweet and kind... I guess at this point Im going to hope to hear from him today, if I dont Im thinking about just getting dressed up as planned and going to the restaurant as planned. If he doesnt show then Ive had a glass of great wine and consider it his loss. UGH! And I know, I know, dont develop feelings for someone until youve met them, I know all of that and thats not my problem today, I just want to know why the actions of men confuse us women...I dont think I said anything to offend him, the one worst case scenario I can think of is we both met on a dating site and hey...theres always someone better out there, but if thats the case...Why cant they just say something, sure Id feel a little disappointed but at least Im not wondering. Thanks Guys! Paula Link to comment
annie24 Posted May 21, 2005 Share Posted May 21, 2005 I think that you should go and show up. He told you where and when, so unless you heard otherwise, it's probably fine. He's probably busy with work or something. Perhaps he's had some computer problems these past few days. Chances are that he'll be there. And if he isn't after 30 minutes, then leave, and never contact him again and don't ever take his calls again. Do not deal with being stood up! But, I think he'll be there tonight Link to comment
UGH1607307217 Posted May 21, 2005 Author Share Posted May 21, 2005 Thanks Annie! Im trying to stay positive and make the most out of this dating thing again until I find...as another poster told me Mr Evenmorewonderful! Paula Link to comment
annie24 Posted May 21, 2005 Share Posted May 21, 2005 Like you said - if he doesn't show up, then at least you got a chance to put on a great outfit and have a great glass of wine in a nice restaurant. But, I bet he'll be there. Hey - update us and tell us how the date goes! I'd like to hear it! (By the way - I'm going to move this post into a more appropriate forum ) Link to comment
mtastic Posted May 21, 2005 Share Posted May 21, 2005 I just want to know why the actions of men confuse us women... It works both ways, you ladies can be hard to figure out as well! Anyway, I had a similar situation occur last summer: met a girl throug a popular dating site, we talked through email and IM for about 3 weeks or so, made plans to meet up, and everything was fine until i called to confirm the meeting the night before it was supposed to happen, and she idn't call back, same happened when i called the morning of. I figured "no big deal" as she knew where and when we planned to meet, and maybe she was just busy at the times i called. Anyway, i figured i'd go and wait for her, but she never showed up. A day or two later she called saying there was a family emergency, and she'd still like to get together. I bought that, however it happened again, everything was fine until the day before we were going to meet, only this time i never heard from her again, no phone calls, blocked from IM. the whole thing left me feeling hurt and stupid for being led around. I'm not saying the same will happen to you, but just be prepared in case it does. From what you said, it seems like he was the one who did all the initiating (contacted you first, asked to meet, etc), which shows he's interested. This was not the case in my situation, I did all the initiating, and realize now i never had a clear sign she was interested in anything other than conversation. Let us know how things go tonight, we're here for you regardless of what happens. Mtastic Link to comment
UGH1607307217 Posted May 21, 2005 Author Share Posted May 21, 2005 Thanks Mtastic, Im sorry about your experience. Hopefully youve met someone else with manners yeah, he was the one that initially contacted me with the first email...I kind of brought up the subject of meeting about a week later, but it was on AOL IM and I asked "so have you thought about if you would like to meet me?" he replied "yes I do want to meet you" I smiled to myself and didnt reply right away...so he sent again..."did you get that? I said yes I want to meet you" so with that I told him great and he could choose where to go and the time and he did. Anyway, I just have this weird feeling, I guess because I havent heard from him for two days (not really anyway, very short brief IMs and maybe a phone call) Im so new to this after being in a relationship for over five years, and my trust level is kind of low (feel free to find my "other" story posted somewhere in here if you want) but anyway, I also thought that well, maybe hes nervous himself, and since I hadnt heard from him regarding our meeting (not sure that Im ready to call it a date ) other than the initial confirmation of time and place on Monday I think, I did leave him a voice mail, short and sweet, "just making sure we are still on for tonight, looking forward to seeing you". *deep breath* thanks for listening to my rantings! Im sorry if I started to babble a little...nerves Paula Link to comment
annie24 Posted May 22, 2005 Share Posted May 22, 2005 HE NO SHOWED! Oh my! What a jerk!!!! Grrrrr..... That was very immature of him. Ok honey, be glad that this guy is out of your life now, as opposed to not showing up to your wedding. I can't believe that some people don't have enough decency to make a 5 minute, "nevermind - i met someone new - i'm not interested in you anymore - but have a good life" phone call. Well - there you go. Wow. Well, don't let this experience scare you off from meeting other men online. Most will not stand you up! They are online because they want dates! This guy is stupid. Good luck!!! Link to comment
UGH1607307217 Posted May 22, 2005 Author Share Posted May 22, 2005 Im not letting it discourage me, I have a lot to offer someone and I just consider it his loss. He missed out on what could have been a great night! Have a great day everyone! Paula Link to comment
annie24 Posted May 22, 2005 Share Posted May 22, 2005 Good - I like your positive attitude. You'll be fine. Just promise me you won't believe him if he calls you up with some sick grandmother excuse! Link to comment
mtastic Posted May 22, 2005 Share Posted May 22, 2005 Thats horrible. I still don't get why people do things like that. Like annie said, be glad he's out of your life now, rather than having to deal with someone who'd do that. Watch out if he calls you anytime soon with an excuse, in my opinion it better be a darn good one (maybe even with a recipt lol), other wisedrop him. I know how you're feeling, so if you want to talk about it, fell free to pm or IM me. Hope you feel better, mtastic Link to comment
UGH1607307217 Posted May 22, 2005 Author Share Posted May 22, 2005 Ive already deleted him from my buddy list, taken him out of my search pages on the site, and removed his phone number from my phone. Who knows...Im ok , See womens intuition, it does exist, otherwise I wouldnt have posted yesterday Have a great night! Thanks everyone for being here! Paula Link to comment
UGH1607307217 Posted May 23, 2005 Author Share Posted May 23, 2005 Hi guys, I just needed to vent this morning just to make myself feel better. I feel worse today than yesterday...ugh! I guess it was the fact of coming back to work and having to tell everyone about being stood up after I was soooooo excited about this date. I guess I could've made something up but that's just not me. Have a nice day everyone! Paula Link to comment
annie24 Posted May 23, 2005 Share Posted May 23, 2005 Awww! No worries - in a few days, everyone will have forgotten about everything - you included - you'll forget all about the loser. Link to comment
mtastic Posted May 24, 2005 Share Posted May 24, 2005 Hey, You seem to have a good attitude about this, keep it up! I know how that talk feels, I don't get dates often, so before I was stood up I told a bunch of people about it, as it was a big deal for me. Be glad all you had to do was tell people today, when I got stood up we had agreed to meet in the park, and as i was sitting there I ran into one of my friends! It was seriously one of the most embarrasing moments of my life, have to come up with an explanation as to why i was sitting alone in the park, looking expectantly at everyone who came around the corner. Things will get better, you seem to have a pretty good handle the situation already, so just keep going and you should be fine. mtastic Link to comment
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