WILL ANYONE HELP??? not being permitted to let go

[Sally7829]

9 months ago my boyfriend of 3 1/2 years unexpectedly ended the relationship. getting over it was torture, but in november, i -26- began dating a guy -38- that i'd known my entire life, and we fell in love very quickly. incidentally, he was NOT the first guy i dated post-relationship. but now this week, we also i broke up. i guess. it's really messed up. he actually only said on saturday he wanted a break (and left "for 15 minutes to see his nephew" and never came home), but then i learned a lot of stuff... he is not who i thought he was... he has been telling his ex-girlfriend for the past month that he wanted to get back together with her (i didn't hear this till sunday, and then not from him, from a third party). then didn't come home saturday night. i haven't talked to him since saturday. all i have is a bunch of rumors via friend of a friend. but the fact that he has not contacted me verifies it, i guess. i was totally used. and i have no idea who he is. he called sunday night, i returned the called yesterday and still have not heard back. so haven't heard from him since saturday when he said he was leaving for 15 minutes and kissed me bye. how can someone be so intimate for so many months and never communicate the end of the relationship? it's so cruel... and i feel so helpless. how do i move own with the possibility of never having closure?

[melrich]

It hasn't really been that long since he left so maybe he will contact you and explain himself. i hope so, he certainly owes you at least that.

 

Sorry to hear that you have to endure two relationship breakdowns in such a short time frame. I am sure it has knocked your self esteem and faith in men around quite a bit. Try to remember that there are still good people out there and you just happened to run into two people at the wrong time of their lives.

 

I hope you get the closure you are after.

[Ms Omaniac]

that is a cowardly way to end things if that is his intentions. ive known a couple of people that do that...and it is VERY selfish on their part. they dont want to have to deal with the tears and the guilt. at least you found out and are not kept in the dark a second longer. i would remind myself of this everytime he creeps into my mind to help me get over him. to me...i would rather a guy be jerk in the end of the relationship because it helps me get over them easier.

[newts]

Hi Sally,

 

I am also sorry to hear that you have been messed around by two men. Just remember the more w@*nkers you meet the closer you are to meeting somebody really special. Maybe it's also telling that you need some time alone, some time to find out who you really are?

 

I hope he will give you an explaination too, because knowing him for almost all your life he at least owes you that. I would have to say the reason he hasn't contacted youmaybe for 2 reasons, and this is just my opinion.

 

1. He knows what you went through in your past relationship and he knows he has done exactly the same thing and is too embarrassed to face you and tell you the truth. Especially if this 3rd party information is true. (nobody likes been caught out, and most people can't face the fact that they are accountable).

 

2. He may not be confident that the relationship with the ex is going to last and in a warped way by not contacting he may feel as those if it doesn't work with the ex, I can just go back to where I left things with Sally.

 

Either one of these reasons or any other reasons are unacceptable. Sally you deserve alot better than this and you know it! If and when he returns your call, let him give you closure and then start the NC rule.

 

Good luck

[Sally7829]

there are so many facts that complicate this two... he is the CEO of my father's company - the company knows we were dating, and now the company sees here being brought to functions. you would think he's be more cognizant on a professional level of what messages this is sending. and because our families have worked together for so many years, he can't really just run away, run? how can someone who tells you you're "the one" on saturday, never contact you again???

[newts]

Bravo Sally!!

 

I say send it girl. if you do send it, send it with pride and if he does try to make contact don't respond as this letter is closure enough.

[Sally7829]

still no word. i am going crazy. please, can anyone offer tips of what i should do, presuming i never hear from, which in and of itself seems unfathomable???