Rebound?

[asia604]

I really like this guy, but he just got out of a 7 year relationship. He told me that he isnt looking for anything long term and wants to be just friends. I agreed. After chatting for a few weeks, he told me that he really likes me and wants something more (granted he has been drinking alot lately). I told him I dont want to pursue this as of yet. I dont think he is ready. I do like this guy, but he is headed towards a negative path of destruction and I dont want to be dragged into it. He invited me to his house the other day, but after having this chat, he blew me off, and said that I couldnt come over only because his friend wants to come over and see his pc that he is selling. Is he trying to get back at me for turning him down? I am beginning to wonder if he is just looking for a rebound. I still want to be friends. I mean if I sleep with him all these emotions will get involved, and if I dont he gets upset with me. I cant win. He wanted to be friends, and I agreed, and now he is changing the conditions. Any advice is greatly appreciated.

[dontknowwhattodo]

I would say you are doing the right thing. I talked to several of guy friends who got off from their long term relatonships (5 years on average) and most of them said they wanted to be single for at least 2 years before they could get serious with anyone again. They didn't say that they wouldn't date but they were not looking for anything serious. I met a guy whom I really liked and he said he liked me tremendously, we hit it off very quickly. However, we failed to take our relationship to the next level because he was still not over with his old flame (I met him 1 year after he got off from his 5 years live-in relationship). These guys need their time alone and be single. *You* deserve to be with someone who is ready to make you and himself happy.

[fmfisdead]

Hey, it seems like you have this all worked out pretty well already, good catch on realizing that hes probably not ready for a relationship and that hes leading a destructive lifestyle. If hes going to get angry and not understand and get angry when he doesn't get sex it doesn't seem like hes really that great of a guy anyways. Maybe Don'tknowwhattodo was right about about the single thing, althought I am a guy and didn't feel that way about me and my ex of 3 years break. Of course I'm younger and it may be different, but it was serious. Its really different for everyone I guess. You just need to talk to him and if he doesn't understand what your saying or how your feeling and get angry about it, you might want to reconsider

[asia604]

well it turns out he lied about his friend coming over, he was on msn for most of the evening, so it looks like he didnt want me to come over. I have been avoiding him, and just limiting the contact between us. He left a voicemail asking if I wanted to go out with him and his friends on friday night, and emailed me asking if I am pissed off at him. I replied back stating I was busy, and then he replied saying "sure sure, promise?" I am pissed off because first he tells me he wasnt looking for a long term relationship and wants to be friends, I agreed, and now he is looking to get some. He keeps changing the conditions and expects me to play along. I am so confused, I just want to be friends, and if things happen they happen right? I am looking for long-term and refuse to settle for anything less. Please tell me if I am on the right path.