Dunno what to talk about sometimes...

[Stinkweed]

Well, the title says it all... Whenever I wanna talk to a girl in order to get to know her, I just don't know what to talk about... It's hard... It happens to me a lot, unless I know the other person has at least something in common with me (musical taste, opinion, anything...). So, any tips on what to talk about? I know this has been asked like ten million times already, but I still don't know how to start... Plz, just help me sort this one out... Thanks and best wishes.

[SimoneTiger]

In my experience, there isn't really such a thing as a topic that will encourage a meaningfull conversation... It can be impossible to hold a conversation with some people, and with others it is the most natural thing in the world, regardless of the subject.

 

For example, when it feels that you are fishing for answers, chances are things will not change if the topic is different... If you regularly initiate conversations with people, chances are sooner or later you will meet someone with whom you will need not worry about keeping up an interesting discussion.

 

I realize this is probably not the answer you are looking for: just wanted to put in my two cents.

 

PS: If nothing else helps, get a puppy. It's always a great conversation starter and a miraculous girl magnet.

[Sez]

Hmm, this may seem obvious but most people love to talk about themselves. For the time being, don't worry about what you have in common, just focus on trying to get her to tell you what she's about. What's she passionate about, what makes her tick? Find out about her friends/family - maybe you have friends in common?, her interests, her opinions on stuff. If you ask enough - and assuming she doesn't worry about what to talk about too - you'll find a few things to get her going. So basically, encourage her to talk about what she wants to talk about, and be a good listener. That'll also give you a better idea of how compatible you are.

 

That said, you don't want to bombard her with too many questions, or be too personal at first. Add in little comments of your own or anecdote if you can; hopefully if you hit on a good topic the conversation will start to flow better, and you'll just start thinking of other things to say. After that, you could start talking about your own interests, etc.

 

Hope this helps a bit. I find it difficult to talk to guys I like, but this is what, ideally, I would do.

[Stinkweed]

hmmm... I guess it makes sense... Well, I guess then, besides those ppl who I already know, I pretty much have nothing to say to anyone else in this world... I'm so awesome 8)

 

 

Best wishes.

[Sez]

I don't understand - also I don't quite get the tone of your message. I wasn't saying that you have nothing to say to anyone else - if that's what you thought. i just meant that if you are worried what to talk about, take your cues from her a bit. that way you are guaranteed to get a subject that she's interested in.

[Stinkweed]

Don't worry... I'm an idiot... just don't mind this thread... I'm tired and I finally understood that besides the few friends I already have, there aren't many others down the road for me, let alone a girl I can like or who can like me, or whatever, and for me it's just useless to try to be normal. Thanks and best wishes.

[eviljedi]

Why would you want to be 'normal'?

[Stinkweed]

My friend, no matter how much you want to PRETEND you're happy not being normal and that having few friends is AWESOME, in the bottom of your heart, you can't run away from the truth... and I don't think I have to explain what that truth is, cause I know that no matter how much you want to PRETEND you don't know it, or don't need to know it, or aren't interested in knowing, or think you can make me think you don't need to know it, YOU ALREADY KNOW IT!!! There's a time when we all face the truth, the music, whatever you wanna call it, and I think that I'm tired from running away, and if only I could do something to fix it, I would, but I'm afraid I'd have to be born again to do that. And when I'm around ppl who, even though they aren't the same as me, but at least understand me, is the only time when I feel I don't need to fix anything... but if only those times were less rare and more frequent... If only I could know more ppl who understood me... Cause I can't make the wold understand me, and it's too late to change, cause I've already tried. and I KNOW you KNOW exactly what I MEANT up there. And the only place I felt almost equal to the others, is a place where I'll never go back, and I haven't even wished I could go back, cause it's impossible. Cause here, there's no equality really. There's always those who are different, and are treated different by different "kinds" of ppl.

[eviljedi]

no matter how much you want to PRETEND you're happy not being normal and that having few friends is AWESOME

 

lol, I never said I had no friends, I have loads of friends and not one of them is 'normal'. I don't really think anyone is 'normal'. You are you and you just need to accept that and quit moaning about how the world doesn't understand you. Perhaps if you didn't right people off and gave them a chance more people would accept you.

[Stinkweed]

Well, I see what you mean now... I'm very very very very very... very sorry if my tone was a little angry up there... I was having a horrible moment (and I'm 3 times as sorry for taking it out on someone else...). Well, I don't got many friends, but the few I have are not "normal" either... And, well, I've tried countless times to give a chance to the others who seem to be "normal" (the ones who have lots of friends, or at least a healthy amount and seem to be able to get along with almost everyone) and well, I kinda feel like they treat me different, and sometimes they do and well, I always end up in some kind of unfriendlyhood with them... I dunno how to explain it, but I doubt the same thing happens to everyone, and then I just drift appart and we become strangers once again. And also, I dunno, but I'm just very different to the ppl my friends hang out with too... sometimes I wonder why they even talk to some loser like me, if I'm so different from the rest of their friends... I guess in that sense I'm lucky... Oh well, I give up on this. My parents used to say that it was me, and that I should try to be more sociable, and believe me, I've tried as hard as I can... I've really tried my best, especially this year, but there has been little success. Haven't made much of a difference... Sad but true, sucks butt poo... hahahaha, my intent on trying to make a rhyme up Not a very good poet indeed. Well, this is a very interesting discussion... Why would some chump with no style whatsoever who only goes with the trend of the week have so many friends? It's a good question... But I've seen it happen. Guys who started wearing women's accessories on their heads (you know, those thingies, whatchamacallit that hold girl's hair back) just cause it's "cool"... they've got no style and they start doing that, and everyone thinks they're cool. Pffft, I know I'm waaaaaay cooler than that 8) lol.