Pain and oversensitivity.

[SlipperySammy]

Ok...some of you might know my girlfriend and I have had some intimicy issues...(lack of intimicy.)

 

We are currently doing better and our communication is better...and our frequency of sex is up from one time ever 2-4 weeks to once a week.

 

We still have some work to do, and I can't help but ask a question here.

 

We still can't seem to fix her occasional pain during intercourse. For what ever reason it hasn't been as bad lately, but last night she had it again. This results in a huge loss of confidence on her part...and really slows down our progress at getting a healthy sex life.

 

She saw her gyno last month and told him the symptoms and he said every thing looked ok, and wrote it off as poor lubrication. She wasn't exactly thrilled about going to the gyno to discuss this, and she excepted his answer...(I think she should have probed more because I think she knew it is more then just poor luberication.)

 

Any way... last she felt extremly 'tight' when I used my finger on her...and she told me it didn't hurt but she was afraid it would if we had sex. I tried to relax her and reassure her...her pain got so bad that she said it hurt even when my toung touched her labia, and clit. Has any one every heard of this? She describes it as a pain...and oversensitivity. I have noticed that this issue is most often assocatied with being very tickilish...lets say we are fooling around and if I touch her in the vagina vacinity she gets very ticklish...I can almost always expect her to 'hurt' if we go any further with the fooling around.

 

Does this make any sense to any one? We have several issues that we are working on...but this one seems to be the toughest and most hindering to all of our problems. Imagine in the middle or peak of forplay just having to immeadatly stop because your partner hurts...Not the best way to end the night for both of us if you know what I mean. And also lowers her confidence for future sex.

 

I am at a loss.

 

I just re-read this and I typed it very poorly...I am in a hurry so will post it any way..

 

thanks

Cya

[RayKay]

Wow, now I am honestly not sure what that would be! The vaginal tightness might be her tensing up on the premise that it will hurt - so she gets nervous and tightens up. Or maybe it is an actual physical issue, I am not sure...but you have had sex before so I assume it has worked. The vagina is very stretchy..when there is nothing in it it does remain tightly closed and stretches to accommodate. Without lubrication of course it is harder to get there and can seem tighter.

 

As for the sensitivity. I am not sure. After orgasm the area can be more sensitive, but that just seems different - it almost sounds like she has an infection or something if it is that sensitive, otherwise it is mental. I just am not sure why it would be that hypersensitive in that area normally. It is not like a tickling reflex down there....the tissues are different and touch there feels very different.

 

She really should talk to doctor about it, and I would however suggest you schedule an appointment TOGETHER this time about it.

[emilena]

hello...i know this is an old post, but it still might be helpful to know.

 

there is a common 'condition' (i hate that word) called vaginismus...whereby the muscles in the vagina contract and spasm involuntarily - causing a lot of pain.

it can be the result of previous trauma, issues with intimacy and sex, an aspect of control freakery or 'just one of those things' - there is no real way of knowing why this happens. but it can apparently be cured by psycho sexual therapy, hypnosis, counselling or resolving the issues yourselves. perhaps it's a trust/communication thing.

 

having said that...it is also very likely that its just a bit of tension and lack of lubrication

 

i dont know your history...but the most important thing you can do at this stage is to make it clear that you're crazy about her and are going to stick around...because it's HER you want...not the sex.

 

it is very likely that this pain is making her feel very low, as she can't do what she wants. so i highly recommend lots of cuddles and affection and dont be afraid to talk about it and take it slowly.

 

good luck hun xxxx

[Belgian girl]

vaginal infection (like I had)?