looking for support

[Fran2]

Hi everyone.

Remember me? I am going through a tough phase right now and need to feel safe. I know what I have to do, but feel free to contribute advise if you want to. I'l appreciate it. Not sure how much detail I have to give. After a year of leaving me alone my ex who broke up with me in the cruelest way possible and htormented me for months after. Now all of a sudden he is going crazy. He came back under the guise he was willing to pay me back some money he owes me (a fair amount.). I had our firm secretary write him a cordial e mail with the details and blocked his number. That was a month ago. He apparently is going through one of his phases and he won't leave me alone. He seems to be highly unstable mentally. He will not respect any boundary, or the fact that I am in a new relationship and very happy with my new partner. I changed my number in the past, but due to my profession my emergency number has to be listed, so changing it again won't do a thing. I can also not block private numbers (for the same reason. Most of the clients call from private numbers). I know the legal remedies available to me and I know when to deploy them (I am an attorney). I block one number, he gets another. If he calls I hang up. I have responded only once to state very clear that I have no desire to engage in any kind of interaction (for evidence) and then maintained full radio silence and kept blocking. His messages are totally bizarre. It sounds as if 3 completely different people are writing. The "I wanted to apologize and get closure", the baiting mean who insults and threatens, and the "poor me, so much has happened to me you don't know about" persona. Since the relationship I moved away, so my safety is not compromised. I also do not believe he would hurt himself. If he was in the same city I would already have filed for a RO, but right now there is not a lot I can do as he is in a different country. But I still find myself suffering from his constant presence and baiting. Today I had a full blown panic attack. I used to have them when I was with him and during the agonizing time when he left me like I was garbage and even refused our relationship was real. It is a feeling I generally associate with him and it bothers me that he is still able to upset me. It also makes me question my ability to choose partners. He appeared to me as the perfect soulmate, right out of a fairytale and I did not see that his initial obsession (he used to call me every five minutes) was a red flag and not "cute". I have not confided this is happening to my new partner, as we are taking it slow and easy and don't want him to think that the ex is in any way still in the equation yet. At least I want to spare him the gory details. I guess even writing this makes me feel better, but I needed to vent and hope he grows tired of this sick little game of his. So I thought I could come here for some moral support.

Thanks for reading!

[Dominique]

I'm sorry you are going through this. That's awful!