Please, I desperately need advice!

[Angelsmile27]

Hi all,

 

My boyfriend of one and a half year broke up with me exactly two months ago but I've been feeling terribly depressed. He decided to end the relationship because of an argument we had. I could not bear the fact that he had broken up with me so I called him a few times to talk about us, to get together but he would refuse to do so. Around a month ago, I finally sent him a goodbye letter which he even didn't care to reply to.

After not contacting him anymore, one good day he called me like nothing had happened and told me that he loved me and he missed me but I told him to show me with actions, he basically didn't want to talk about it and we hung up the phone. Then he called me one more telling me the same thing again but no actions. I am very confused, I don't know what else to believe, I began to have my hopes high that he had changed his mind, but then again, he does not want to get together.

 

I don't know what else to do, I am so depressed about the mixed messages he is giving me.

 

Please I need advice, what should I do, I am going crazy, I miss him so much that I could not bear the fact that he is gone.

[mick8888]

i've been going through the same thing for a year and a half, and i could have saved myself a lot of trouble and misery if i had accepted from the start that it was over for good. instead, i've wasted a LOT of time holding onto the fantasy that we would get back together.

 

i know this isn't what you want to hear, but it sounds like it's over. you're gonna have to accept that and move on. don't think he's going to come back because the chances are, he won't. this isn't out of bitterness, it's just the truth. you're gonna need to find a way to heal and move on with things instead of holding out hope for something that's very likely ruined. i'm sorry, i really am, because i know exactly how you're feeling right now. the only thing that can make it better is acceptance and time.

[DN]

What do you mean by show you with actions? You seem to be sending him mixed messages. You sent him messages saying you missed him etc. and when he finally calls you don't seem glad about it but start telling him what to do. This shouldn't be a game of who is in control, which is what you both seem to be doing.

 

Decide what you want from him, then contact him and ask him to talk openly and honestly about what you both need from each other.

[Angelsmile27]

When he called me after a month he told me that he loved me and missed me, however, he didn't want to see me at all, that is why I told him that his actions were speaking louder than his words. Basically, I really don't know at this point whether he really loves me or not, I am very confused, and that is why I am saying that he is sending me mixed messages. I've been very sincere with him, I've told him that I love him and that I want to work things out but it seems like it is falling in deaf ears.

[DN]

Was the reason he didn't want to see you the argument you had? What was that about and was it resolved? That may be the key to the problem.

[Angelsmile27]

We've had arguments like any other couple does. It seems to me that he just wanted to find a way to end our relationship.

[Angelsmile27]

I tried several times to talk to him after our breakup but he kept on pushing me away.