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Break up help


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It's a little long..


My ex broke up with me a month ago after a loving, quickly serious year long relationship. We had a beautiful romance and normal healthy relationship. He was very full on at first, wanted kids to move out together, missed me all the time. He began to pull back about 6 months later, I suspected a little bit of a lull, within a month, everything was back normal. Completely out of the blue, he broke up with me based on a feeling that he no longer wanted to be in a relationship and felt like he lost the love. He said he had only had the feeling for a day, but acted on it because. He says he knows it's abnormal to have felt like that so quickly. We hadn't spoken in a month, but I had to contact as we still had some finances and belongings unsettled. We finally had a conversation about it, he said that he was disappointed that he felt like this, but admitted that he had done the exact same thing to his 7 girlfriends before me. Recognising the way things happened and the way the break up had occurred, I see some definite romantic narcissistic patterns, with him blocking me on all social media and deleting every photo of us together, (even though we haven't been talking anyway) but I know he is posting things for validation. He's way of dealing is pretending it never happened. I also know that he didn't leave me for another, which feels like the only thing that seperates him from other narcissistic behaviours. As much as I would love him to come back, I know that it's not the right thing, so, I would love to know how others got over similar situations and where they found their self happiness again.

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I'm hearing that from every angle, strangely the heartbreak doesn't lie in our potential future, my heartbreak is of what we had because it was so lovely. My problem is now that being such a shock, replaying it in my head is obviously inevitable, I know in the long run I will be better off, someone with that type of personality would've done it eventually, but it's like my brain isn't letting me forget, and I'm still unable to do normal things like going out, or hanging out with friends. Plus I am still talking about it. I physically want to be ready to do things normally again and really want to know how people in similar situations have dealt.

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My girlfriend and I were going out for around two months, then she went traveling for two months and I was supposed to meet her. While together we had a healthy relationship, we were really into each other but at the same time we both had university, work and sporting commitments, as well as social lives. A week before I was due to arrive she broke it off saying she doesn't feel the same anymore. Obviously the distance has taken its toll. However a week earlier she was sending me some really dirty videos, and I wouldn't think you would do that if you were planning on breaking up.



I am still going to Europe, however I am torn whether I should meet up with her. She did it via text and has refused to answer my calls saying she's too busy. So I have backed off and given her space. Should I try meet up with her, or just forget about her and float around Europe alone.


Kind Regards

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