Should I be worried about "the other guy" she never talks about?

[johnnyscott123]

My girlfriend and I have officially been together for a little over 2 months now. We've been dating for about 4 months. We get along really well and always have a good time together. We are also in a long distance relationship currently. I live about 800 miles away but we are always flying back and forth. (We're together about 15 days out of every month). Over the past few weeks I've notice her snap chatting this guy a lot. She never open snaps from him in front of me. I saw that she has just over a 100 day streak with this guy and he's her number 2 friend, I'm number 1 still. She has never mentioned the guy to me before in conversation like she has some of her other guy friends. I looked up his name on Facebook a few weeks ago just out of curiosity and but didn't say anything because for all I knew they are just friends. We used her Go Pro last weekend and when I went to download all the pictures we took, I saw a ton of older pictures of her with this same guy from a few months before we started dating. I have still yet to say anything to her about the matter. My girl friend doesn't know that I've seen these pictures or think that I suspect anything about her always snapping this guy. Should I confront her about this? How should I bring this conversation up? Should I be concerned? I don't want it to seem like I'm interrogating her, but at the same time I'd like so answers, and or reassurance that their is nothing to worry about. I also don't want to make it seem like a big deal when I bring it up. An outsiders perspective/ advise would be greatly appreciated.

[MrWallFlower]

Could you tell from the pictures whether they had a romantic relationship? They could be just friends but, if so, why wouldn't she introduce him to you? the fact that she's keeping him hidden is suspicious.

[Anonymous9841]

Hi Johnny,

 

It's great to hear that you've been having a successful relationship so far with her. The situation you're describing seems to be something that doesn't go well with a long-distance relationship. I know this from experience, that it's hard to keep your mind from wandering to the idea that she is "more than friends" with another guy. The one primarily concerning thing is that she hasn't made any mention of this guy to you like she did about some of her other friends. That does NOT mean that she is up to anything bad with this guy. In fact, he might be someone that she used to be close with (ex-boyfriend?), and she simply never wanted to make mention of him to you because she felt awkward about it. On the other hand, there's always a possibility that he's still something to her. Of course, he could also be an innocent friend that she hasn't brought up due to forgetfulness or coincidence.

 

So you have those three options. When you feel 100% comfortable to ask her about him, you should - but you should make sure you don't come across as desperate or crazy for the information. If she sees you acting desperate to find out who he is, she might think you don't trust her. If you ask her considerately, she should respond considerately, and if she doesn't, that's an issue on her end. Like I said, I can't predict what he is for her, but I believe that if you ask her nicely (after making sure you feel completely comfortable, and not crazy about it) she will tell you who he is. In fact, she might tell you not to worry and tell you that he's just an old friend and comfort you and be sweet about it all. If she gives a suspicious response that doesn't get to the bottom of the matter, then sadly you could be on to something.

 

I have no idea who he could be, but I know that the major concern for you is making sure you don't come across as desperate about it. I hope that he is just an old friend that she forgot to mention!

 

Also, take a look at my recent post if you have the time.

 

Best

[johnnyscott123]

Could you tell from the pictures whether they had a romantic relationship? They could be just friends but, if so, why wouldn't she introduce him to you? the fact that she's keeping him hidden is suspicious.

 

Yes, they definitely used to be in a romantic relationship from the pictures. Kissing, hugging, etc.

[johnnyscott123]

Thank you! I will trying to bring it up casually when the time is right. I'll try and wait to when I see a snapchat come from him on her phone while were together. And I agree with you 100%. I need to make sure to not come across as desperate or make a big deal from it. Her reaction will tell me more than the words.